Home / Braco: Money for Nothing and Chicks(?) for Free

Braco: Money for Nothing and Chicks(?) for Free

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Allow me to introduce you to Braco, a “beautiful man with an extraordinary gift to share.” And what is this gift, you ask? Well, just see for yourself.

Yes, his “extraordinary gift” is his unique ability to stare at people. (And also his hair is pretty badass.)

Normally, staring at complete strangers for an extended period of time isn’t exactly considered a gift; it’s more likely to be cited as the rationale for an involuntary psychiatric evaluation. But Braco (pronounced braht-zoh) is different. You see, while Braco does not call himself a “healer,” many people do. According to his website, “hundreds of thousands” of people believe Braco has the power to heal. (How much do you wanna bet most of those people are the same types who sneer at Evangelicals as naive, gullible rubes?)

The above video offers some enlightening comments from his fans (worshipers?):

– “He brings an incredible pure love and energy to the masses”
– “He can heal…he does heal!”
– “A mass consciousness of love that he is pouring out”
– “He helps us to remember who we are, who we were born to be”
– “He’s just pure love, compassion”

Pretty high praise for a guy who, if you were sitting next to him on a bus, would make you clutch your pepper spray a little more tightly.

One particular comment I found rather revealing. “There is no dogma,” said a smiling, nodding woman with scary eyes. “I really appreciate no dogma.” And she’s right. But then, it’s kinda difficult to establish a doctrine of beliefs and morals when you never actually say anything.

Here’s another video of Braco, who until recently bottled his freaky brand of snake oil exclusively in Croatia:

Testimonials from the above video, along with my commentary:

– “There’s nothing that can compare” [I guess this guy has never been to Scores]

– “Within ten seconds I saw him shape-shift” [This guy tried to get tickets for David Icke, but they were sold out]

– “It’s just like a shower of golden specks” [But can Braco cure urolagnia?]

– “All the sudden I felt better in my spine” [Note: This was not Stephen Hawking]

– “In the course of my gazing sessions I had some spontaneous miracles happen for me” [Aren’t all miracles, by definition, spontaneous?]

– “A wonderful tingling sensation” [Note: This was not Chris Matthews]

For those unable to gaze at Braco (PBUH) in person, you can stare at Him via “International Live Stream Gazing.”

The website provides the following important disclaimer (at the bottom of the page, in small print): “You must be at least 18 years old to attend a gazing session and no pregnant women beyond their first trimester may attend due to the intensity of the energy.” We don’t want any partial-Braco abortions to ruin what should be a pleasant day of paying a Croatian hippie to gawk at you.

Hat tip: David Burge who tweets: “Tip to GOP: run this guy as a 3rd party candidate, he’ll split the Obama vote in half”

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About RJ

  • You’re right, he does have great hair.

    Kind of reminds me of the movie Bubble Boy, in which the cult leader turns out to be Fabio.

  • RJ

    Heh. I’m not familiar with that movie, but it sounds like an interesting premise…