We Are Youth Gone Wild: The Novel Twelve by Nick McDonell - Page 2

Twelve contains drug dealing wiggers, beautiful and rich Lolita sluts, dope gobbling party animals, pathetic zit-faced dorks, and psychopathic thugs who make Harris and Klebold look like Mormon missionaries, and what they all have in common is that they are still in high school and it is doubtful any of them will be class valedictorian at their posh private schools. McDonell teaches us that kids not only grow up faster today than when we were kids, they also get laid more and have much better drugs. When I was in high school my homeboys and I smoked paraquat-laced ragweed from Mexico and bragged about the handjob we allegedly got from some drunk fat chick at a Kiss concert. In Twelve the girls all look like Britney and Shakira except they are as skilled at the erotic arts as Cleopatra, and they will take you around the world on the first date if you can score them drugs that will make them retarded or half-dead. The drug of choice is a new street drug, twelve, which is more potent than X and has caused more destruction to youth than enrollment at Columbine. McDonell invites us to the parties our kids attend where we are not normally allowed, and after your read this book you will probably ground your kid until he or she reaches retirement age.

Twelve is an honest and brilliant look at a youth culture that has gone wild beyond our imagination. It's styles and patois are topical and ephemeral, but the story isn't. Not only is this a must read for today's youth, it will make for an interesting read for a kid forty years from now. This future kid will learn that American youth culture clothes, slang, drugs of choice, cool attributes, and music will change with every era, but American kids don't. They will always remain horny, thrill seeking, stupid, and impulse control-lacking buttheads, and some will not survive youth. However, the rest will grow up and lead normal and productive lives. Some will look like fat, unhealthy, aging hippies like David Crosby, but that's another story.

The kids are not all right. If this book were only half true, I'd still advise all parents to immediately have their teenagers tested for drugs and STD's. Seriously. We've come a long way from a bunch of punks in the 70's smoking bad pot and dreaming about getting a hummer from the hot chick who sits in front of us in social studies. Today girls dress like strippers and start experimenting with sex at an age when my generation watched Gilligan's Island and thought holding hands with the opposite sex would cost us fifty Hail Mary's at confession and a massive beating from our parents. Today's boys are acting out gangsta rap videos and are becoming fathers before they even have pubic hair. Moreover, drugs today are nukes to my generation's smoke bombs. And it is not just in the ghettos and trailer parks that this appalling behavior is prevalent. As McDonell teaches us, even the children of the privileged and meritocratic classes are fucking up in great numbers.

Article Author: Doubting Thomas

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