I have been enthralled by the outlaw, outcast and outright lunatic in literature ever since I tried to explain the lure of the monster to my baffled little friends on play dates. Part of my fascination stems from this figure’s ability to pierce the part of us that believes we have seen it all. I loved what many have deemed grotesque in the work of Flannery O’Connor and Sherwood Anderson. Yet my propensity for the infuriating wasn’t limited to the written character. I also liked my writers punchy.
Even when I disagreed with them, I favored the authors who got me worked up, made me want to write a letter to the editor, punch a wall, run away and join a motorcycle gang, even though I could barely ride a bike. I idolized Camille Paglia and Germaine Greer over the safer and more palatable feminist alternatives; I constructed a private shrine in my heart for Allen Ginsberg; I lived for Lolita.
When I discovered the pop-cultural enfants terribles Mark Simpson and Elizabeth Wurtzel — the man Philip Hensher dubbed “the skinhead Oscar Wilde” and the woman America knows as the princess of Prozac and controversy (she is most famous for her book, Prozac Nation) — I added them to my pantheon of malcontents, rebels and freaks. I wanted my writers raw and possibly even arrested for refusing to shut the heck up. I vowed that when I grew up, I would run with the bulls as far as writing was concerned. I would don metaphorical leather and ink and worship at the altar of the countercultural.
The strangest part of all of this is the way these interests contradicted who I supposedly was. Many people believe that character should be aligned with whatever it is that turns your creative lights on, but this would never fit in my case. Kind and cheerful never really sat with my artistic impulses, which have often leaned towards the dark, unsettling and sometimes downright offensive. There is a lot of humor and even happiness in the pages of novels worn down by my repeated readings, but the overall tone is always somewhat offbeat.
Article comments
1 - Lisa Damian
What a magnificent article! Your writing is simultaneously graceful and edgy, much like the topic that you are covering here. The content really struck a chord with me. I'm headed over to your writer page now to read more of your opinions...
2 - Caroline Hagood
Lisa, wow,thank you. What a nice thing to say. I just took a look at your review of del Toro's new novel. Great stuff.
3 - roger nowosielski
I'll second. Only glanced at page one, and it flows.
4 - Caroline Hagood
Thanks, Roger. Glad to hear it.
5 - Christy Corp-Minamiji
Once again, terrific, Caroline. You definitely hit it. The most interesting people, writers or not, are those who have something to say -- who are flawed. Perfection oppresses, I don't think it often delights. I really liked this piece.
6 - Caroline Hagood
It's so true about perfection being oppressive. I find this with faces, too. If a face is too perfect, I get bored with it because I feel like there's nothing to grab on to mentally. Thanks for the kind words.