Bill's got all sorts of conservative ideas to pass on to folks, is what. He explains all about TV, asking things like "Why would you want to watch a rerun? Maybe there's a good reason to see something you've already seen, but I can't think of one."
Who knows, maybe it might be that television is the prominent source of information in our culture, and some things require more than one viewing for to uncover exactly what's being suggested. That, of course, is nonsense, since TV is just a buncha shit, except for stuff like The O'Reilly Factor. Go read instead, suggests Bill. It's alright if you get your fiction from text.
Other stuff Bill wants to critique include Eminem ("Do you think it's cool to play an album with dirty, sexually explicit lyrics when you know your parents won't like it? How infantile is that? About as infantile as Eminem's latest CD"), sex ("According to many experts and studies, quite a few of you like to pretend that you're in the Clinton White House. I mean, you casually practice oral sex, even in your early teens"), sluttish womenfolk ("When I was in school, girls who had sex gained "a reputation". They were laughed at, scorned."), sports ("Even the shyest person makes good friends when playing on a team or competing on the courts") and even the old vocabulary. In case you didn't know, "A pinhead is a kid who finds a way to use the word "butt" in every other sentence."
Thank God he doesn't say anything about "motherfuck" or derivatives of such.
Dig this, though. The conservatism isn't exclusive.
Sometimes, Bill knows exactly what he's talking about, and makes a hella lotta sense. The sections on divorce, for example, are pretty spot-on, is what I would imagine, having little to do with the old "wrong or right" carry-on, and more to do with how kids should be dealing with it.
His musings on stereotypes, also, are surprisingly considered. Bill has no time for racists or sexists, he says. Unfortunately, some of the other chapters contradict this somewhat.
What The Duke would do, if I was in such a position, is photocopy a handful of these things and fling the rest of the book into the Marianas Trench, so as there's no way that a youngster could get hold of it.
Article comments
1 - Mark Saleski
what we have here is yet more evidence that we need to elect The Duke to the office of president of the united states of america.
can you just imagine the state of the union addresses?
2 - Mark Saleski
oh, and i thought you were makin' that stuff up about "clinton/white house/oral sex"....but then i went on amazon and searched in the book.
and i'll be danged if that aint' a direct quote.
that o'reilly guy. a class act. ;-)
3 - ribbet
holy shit this guy must have goebbles magled hand up his ass with all the sheer bullshit he spews forth from rupert murdocks "WILFRED BRIMLEY XP900 MIND CONTROL SATELLITE" come on him and that one chick that would make the nitch of buchenwald blush have brought the news networks what they want Yellow journalisitic fascist propoganda.... our country is surely going to hell in a giant suv full of discount bibles ... i for one am secretly learning the canadian political system so when they reinstate the draft i can emigrate to canada and use those books for toilet paper... suck it BILDO
4 - Aaman
#3, I for one hope you are secretly learning the English language -and does Bildo refer to the time Bilbo Baggins played for Steely Dan?
5 - Jim Carruthers
So, the lesson we've learned from Bill O'Reilly (who continues to besmirch the name of the finest computer book publisher on the planet right now) is that adults need to lie to kids, and kids, if you go into a party with nothing but adults. that's okay, but you don't get a cut from the video sales. And it's supposed to hurt, goddamn-it, what are you, some little crying pussy?
6 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
hey folks
wow, Mark, that was just what i was thinking. Mind you, i don't think i have the arse for to take the job. Vice president, though, i could manage. Or maybe foreign secretary or some such. I could ask i suppose. I did phone the white house one time asking if i could arrange a tour for the communist party of Ireland. ah, the joys of youth. Incidentally, the fella who answered (a very droll english gent) didn't understand my accent, so hung up. Motherfucker.
ribbet, i'm guessing you're a fan.
Aaman, who the hell knows what the english language is nowadays. its changing all the time, on account of those damn txt msg and such.
jim, thats about the crux of it all. Although i must admit, there were times when Bill made sense. Hard to get a handle on the steel-eyed motherfucker from the book. Best to watch The Factor for a week or two and you'll know all you need to know.
God bless you Bill O'motherfuckinReilly