Satire - Of No Consequence: The Fictional Diary of Margaret B. Jones - Page 2

3/02/08
Dear Diary,
When we were little, sister and I were sent to a snooty gentile Episcopal School in the Valley. Sister got me in trouble, when she informed the rector that I pocketed the host during communion. Everyone was horrified. As if carrying Jesus in my pocket were a big deal. I have hated her ever since. Today, Miss Blabbermouth has done it again. She snitched.
That bitch. She is so NOT hot. 

3/03/08

Dear Diary,

Ohmigod. The news is out: "Riverhead Books (Penguin Group USA) announced that all copies of the newly released Love and Consequences, A Memoir of Hope and Survival, have been recalled. The author, writing under the nom de plume Margaret B. Jones, has admitted the she made the whole thing up."

I guess this means no Oprah. But wait!!! Didn't James Frey go on Oprah? Maybe, all is not lost. 

3/05/08
Dear Diary,
People want to know why. I wanted to get published more than anything else. Do you know how many agents want both women's fiction and ethnic fiction? Can anyone blame me for upping the ante by submitting a "women's ethnic memoir?" Ethnic is v.v. cool!!! So I delivered: Bloods, Crips, drug deals, eating last, foster homes, CYA..... what more did they want?  Getting the query accepted  was like fishing from a barrel. I got an agent, a check, and an editor!!! I won!!!!

Like I told the lady at NPR that it's not the big things that end up being big, it's the little things that chip away at you and add up to something big and really hurts. Lots of rejection letters would have really hurt, so I delivered what they wanted. It wasn't hard. I did what Margaret did. I taught myself not to feel. I submitted my book. I didn't care.
No biggie. Have work to do. I've decided I want to be a screenwriter. My story? A sister reunion! Must call sister. Must get new screen name.... I think... Maggie Seltzer sounds v.v. smart!!!!

Article Author: Kanani Fong

Kanani Fong is BC's resident literary fashionista, milspouse and book reviewer. Her blogs are The Kitchen Dispatch a Literary Milspouse Blog, Easy-Writer on literature and writing, and The Literary Fashionista looks at fashion.

Visit Kanani Fong's author page — Kanani Fong's Blog