I've heard you dislike the Internet. Why do you dislike the Internet?
Millions of chat rooms filled with people pretending to be somebody else. I feel it's the work of Satan.
You wrote some pretty edgy material as country music, i.e. the song, "Get Your Biscuits in the Oven (and Your Buns in Bed" Do you have any regrets about anything you ever wrote?
I have no regrets about anything I ever wrote or anything I ever did, for that matter. The only regrets I have are concerning things I didn’t do. There’s still time, of course. But, as my friend Dr. Jay Wise says, “The clock ticks the loudest in the fourth quarter.”
You’ve watched, as a Texan, George Bush go from governor to president. What do you think is the secret to his success?
You ask “what’s the secret to George W.’s success” and I’m not even sure that he is a success. Like so many other politicians, he manages to be important without being significant. I’ve always said he’s a good man trapped in a republican’s body. Right now, like a good little politician, he’s probably thinking about his legacy. The only way he’ll have one is if Rudy picks Rick Perry for vice-president, which actually is the perfect dead-end job for Perry. After all, he’s been a public servant all his life. If Rudy’s elected and, God forbid, something happens to him, then Perry would be President. That would establish Bush’s legacy—it’d make him look like Thomas Jefferson. If that doesn’t happen, TV’s old sitcom star George Jefferson will have a better legacy than George W.
Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Probably in a chat room.
Columnist Molly Ivins is one of my heroes. Your tribute to her, ending the book, is inspiring and moving. What’s the best way to remember Molly Ivins? Did any other candidate have her choose their campaign slogan, namely “Why the Hell not?”
Simply put, it is to remember that politics, truth, life itself, are all immeasurably enriched if we keep our sense of humor. Without it we will surely go insane or worse, we will come to accept our current pathetic state of affairs. Most politicians manage to be important without being significant. As I’ve traveled around the country on my recent book tour, I’ve been very gratified to see that even the mere mention of Molly’s name brings warm, prolonged applause from virtually every audience.
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