Notes while reading People Magazine

I don’t know how well this fits the prototypical “blogcritics” format, but Eric keeps e-mailing me (yeah, just me dammitt, ok everyone, but um, are we not supposed to discuss this in our posts? Um, whatever) to post something, and well, I’m reading people magazine, and it is the latest one, so here we go with something I like to call:

Notes while reading people magazine, August 18th issue, (see that’s current as hell, hasn’t even happened yet, I am from the future, here we have toilets that flush without you having to touch them) you know, the one with j-lo and ben on the cover, affectionately and hilariously called by the clever writers at people “bennifer” hahaha, oh cripes, let me calm down for a minute, that was really funny.

Ok now I shall proceed.

I don’t really care for seeing mick jagger and Justin timberlake on stage together. I mean, that old guy is bringing down tim-dawg’s street cred big time. (page 8)

I didn’t know britney was a plumber! (page 10)

Why does tom cruise think he has to look like some stoned snow boarder, and furthermore, does he think that this will change my opinion of him as a closet homo? Film at 11 (page 14)

OK did I see this straight? Don’t, please do NOT, tell me that LL cool J is pulling a marky mark & demanding that we call him by his Christian name for purposes of his film career. James Todd Smith, starring in S.W.A.T.?? no. no please. You are LL cool J, ok? James Todd Smith might be able to get an underwear ad or two, but he ain’t running down a street with Colin Farrell without “I Need Love” and “radio”. Aight? Aight. (page 35)

I don’t even have anything funny or lighthearted to say about pictures of 10 year old kids shooting each other in Liberia. It’s pretty fucked up. (I think the eff-word is justified here. Editors: feel free to disagree.) It’s nice to know that it was worth going in & booting out Saddam, but this is cool, ya know, we’ll let the locals handle it, but seriously, the lack of oil on the premises has nothing to do with Dubya’s decision. No, really. (page 53)

Article Author: Berkeley Joe

Visit Berkeley Joe's author page — Berkeley Joe's Blog