Why would someone who is not experiencing infertility want to pick up this book?
To better understand someone they know who is experiencing infertility. I don't know how many people who are not experiencing infertility will pick up this book, but that's okay. The words are there for everyone to use who is experiencing infertility and they can pass them along in conversation with people outside the experience.
How different would your own IF journey have been if you'd had this book?
I probably would have felt less lonely. The exercises in the book I used to make decisions and I included one of the real decision webs we made before we started treatments. And I took my sister's advice to heart a lot and still do in living my life. But I wish I had known about the online community back then. It was small, but still existed. I wish I had known about blogs and read them.
There is a lot of humor in your book. Can you talk about the importance of levity while putzing around on the Isle of If?
If you don't laugh, you'll cry. And even as you laugh, you'll still cry. I think it's important to note that having a sense of humour doesn't mean that you'll laugh your way through every insemination or egg retrieval or meeting with the adoption facilitator. It means that you'll bring whatever levity you can to every situation while also honouring the enormity of the situation.
One time, when we were at the beginning of a very early loss, we stopped at a rest stop while driving and when I saw the blood in my panties, I instinctively took off my glasses and threw them. In this very dirty gas station bathroom. And after I had cried and cried and cried, I realized that I couldn't see anything without the glasses — especially in the dim bathroom light — and didn't know where they were outside the stall and feared that I would step on them in my attempt to find them. So I could cry but still see the amusement in having thrown my glasses - the ridiculousness of it all.
What is your marker of success with this book? I mean, how will you know when you've accomplished your goal(s) in writing it?
If someone writes me and says that it helped them breathe. That it made anything easier or shed light on something that had been muddled in their brain prior to reading it. If people feel that it is inclusive and respects everyone in the adoption/loss/infertility (ALI) community. I wish it could also speak to those outside the community and hopefully the book is respectful to other members of the adoption triad, doctors, nurses, surrogates. It is hard to write balancing everyone, but if I did so overall, I will think the book is a success.
Article comments
1 - SassyCupcakes
This is a brilliant article. Thanks so much for telling us more about Navigating the Land of If. I've bought a copy off Amazon and I'm really looking forward to reading it.
2 - Lavender Luz
Thanks, Sassy!
The Barren Bi+ches Book Brigade is has chosen Navigating the Land of IF for its next book.
Tour details and sign up will be available soon here.
The tours are always fun, especially with author participation, so come one, come all!