It was while we were catching each other up on the what's been happening with our lives in the eight months or so it has been since we last talked, and I was telling him about the novel and my plans for a second book that I had a realization. This has been a great year for me in so many ways.
In spite of the fact that my health sucks, and I live a precarious life financially due to being on a fixed income, the positives have far outweighed the negatives. I have spent the last nine months, and continue to do so, immersed in doing what I've wanted to do for years, writing and finishing a novel. Everything else pales in comparison to that.
But it's even more then just that process that's been and continues to be important. For the first time in nearly 14 years I've been able to focus all my energies on working creatively. For me this has been like coming home to where I belong, where I'm happiest.
How often are any of us given the opportunity to do what makes us the happiest for any length of time, let alone permanently? Not very often would probably be a safe bet. Yet for the past year or so I have, and during this whole series have I ever said anything to that effect?
It's a case of not seeing the book for the words – or forest for the trees if you want to be picky - I've been so busy analysing, poking and prodding, and just generally tearing the shit out of the whole process that I've missed the point. After I had told my friend on the phone the stuff that I had done, my prospects for it, and what my wife has been doing over the past while (she's had a gallery show of her art, and is about to release her first CD), I paused for a beat and it hit me like a flash. This has been a really good year.
We humans, this one especially, seem to lack the ability to step back and see the overall picture which might, heaven forbid, accentuate the positive aspects of our life. Somehow or other we can be living out our dreams, and still find reasons to complain and pick it apart so all we think about is how torturous everything is.