I guess since it's happened before, and it happens to people far more talented than I can ever hope to be, it shouldn't surprise me when it happens. But it still takes me by surprise and leaves me feeling a little shaken when I find myself in these circumstances.
I don't think there can be anything worse then getting lost when you’re an artist. By that I mean forgetting your focus; losing track of why it was you were doing what you do in the first place. To all of a sudden find that the reasons and motivation that drove you to become a writer, a musician, or a painter have mutated into something you don't like, I personally think it's the scariest thing that can happen to a creative person, no matter what medium they work in.
The scary part of losing track of your original intent is that, at least in my case, is not even noticing it happening. When it happens to me I'm convinced that everything is okay and that it's business as usual, until something or some things happen to show me otherwise. Of course, then it’s so stunningly obvious I wonder how I could have been so blind as not to see all the clues that were pointing to the problem. Twenty-twenty hindsight is a wonder isn't it?
For the past seven months I've been writing about my quest to take a novel from its inception, or conception if you wish, to birth. At first it was a blow-by-blow account of my participation in the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWirMo) competition last November, where the idea was to write 50,000 words within the 30 days of that month.
Once the month was over, and I had made the decision to carry the work to completion, I wrote sporadic reports on my ongoing progress. This included what probably felt like some pointless navel-gazing to some, but was all part of the process for me. Being able to think out loud like that was invaluable as it helped me to concentrate thoughts and keep focused on the intent of the whole project.
But there were others things going on at the same time while I was writing the story. I was continuing to write posts for my blog and the sites that I post at, including this site and Desicritics.org. and ever so slightly began to get some recognition for my work. Whether in the form of appreciative comments from readers (or less than appreciative ones, notice is notice), approval from editors at the sites where I write, clients approaching me to review work for them, or having other sites approach me for permission to utilize my work it was a new experience for me and I had to learn how to deal with it.
Article comments
1 - Rohan Venkat
(that was me, btw)
2 - Rohan Venkat
Argh, much maligned comment destroyers.
Here's my misnamed comment that never showed up (thus the earlier comment to identify myself, which proved useless) :
Very sincere article, and Richard, great writing!
It is a scary thought, being known as a writer as opposed to being a writer is both enticing and revolting.
Hope everything's better now...
3 - molly
Hello, Richard Marcus,
Welcome Home
I've never written anything on a blog before, mostly because I wasn't moved to do so. NOW I'm happy and want to tell you so.
I've read a couple of your postings here, visited your website, (thank you for turning me on to Lulu), and that's about it. I cannot possibly claim to know you personally, but there was something about your picture that stayed with me. And it wasn't you, it was the things all around you that stayed with me. The patterns in the fabric of the clothing hanging in the background, general STUFF, the rings on your fingers. The room itelf. The environment you've created around yourself bespoke volumes about who's really in there. More than your recent Blog-dingies have. The backdrop said to me: "He's about so much more than is coming through in the writing he's doing." I wondered if it might be that you were just spending too much expression energy on these blog thingy snippets rather than staying tuned into the Story you're writing or what.
Everyone works differently. I, for example, wouldn't even consider talking about something I'm writing that's important to me, with anyone. Not until it's my first version of "finished". (Do I ever really feel finished? No. I just have to make myself stop at some point.) Until that point, when I have to take a break, I take it away from writing anything at all and get outside, or elsewhere inside, and put my attention on a different path in the old noggin'. Make some room for refreshment. "Empty my head," is how I say it.
OK. I'm going on too long right now! Shot right past the finish line and am seeing I'm in the woods!
Now resisting a temptation to edit this babbling brook of consciousness. I won't do it, fer scuz that's all I intended it to be.
Welcome home, fellow person who again writes just like apples grow from a tree. Stick with your natural self and you will delight the energy that composes you.
Warm regards. See you on the wire, perhaps.
4 - Richard Marcus
First of all yes and no to all you're comments. Yes in that I agree with you that my blogs don't say anything about me, well because they're not about me, and that's very deliberate. Even the ones I use myself as material in are not about me, I'm just an example.
Parts of me are going to slip through depending on the subject matter, like the above post, being the obvious exception to the rule in the first paragraph, but I'm not going to put my heart and soul out on this type of exercise.
I blog for a very specific reason, to hone my craft and improve my skill set. Without proper tools nobody can do anything, without knowing the best clearest way of articulating an idea in print it doesn't matter how open your heart is.
Any and all writing I do I consider having validity from that point of view. Being a writer means being able to write in more than one style and for more than one segment of the population.
I'm not interested in people getting to know me personaly through my writing, that's not what it's for. I write to express ideas, thoughts, and opinions. If you think you are able to glean something of me from that, well careful, and remember appearances can be deceiving.
cheers