After all of this reading through many years now as an adult, i look at a photograph of Ted and Sylvia. They are dressed in their rain coats, and Sylvia has her hood up and her hands in her pockets as she leans in closer to Ted, bracing herself against the strong sea-wind and hard rain. Ted stands upright, a few steps a head of her on the stone jetty and unlike his wife, he is defiant to the wind - truly the colossus Sylvia had seen, firm and upright against the elements, unafraid and saying swallow me whole. Earlier today, i walked the half block from my apartment to the Winthrop beach and stood on teh same stone jetty of which Sylvia and Ted had stood. I looked at the rocks and thought of this young girl with her talent and her need and her brilliance and kindness and fury and hated the waste of it; the way she took herself from us.
I can't blame her. Hughes had turned his back on her for the more exotic Assia Weevil, with her dark good looks and red freckled face and her Tel Aviv background. It's not surprising that Hughes turned to Assia. She was the anti-Sylvia, everything Plath was not. She was controlled and cold in some ways, she was sophistacated and good at spin, she seemed self-possessed and secure, so unlike our fragile girl braced against the wind. Teh same girl who sits at home typing up page after page of poetry for her husband, putting his genius, she said, before her own because what he did was "important" and we gather, more important in her mnd than her own. Was it that Plath served Hughes to such a great extent that he lost his repect for her? If she had played the aloof, coy and cold seductress instead of hte needy and loving and sorrowful wife that she was, would he have loved her more?
From the outside, it seems that what Hughes wanted was respite - a break from Plath and her constant neediness. That much is understandable to a point and is the argument trumped about by others in their defense of him as they cluck their tongues and tell us how dificult Sylvia was, how impossible, which i don't doubt for a moment. I don't doubt it, but i also know that he knew of Plaths desperation. If anybody knew how fragile she really was it was Ted Hughes. He knew and he chose to marry her and in doing so, he tacitly told her and the world that he would be there for the haul. Yes people change, and yes, one can tire of this behavior, but there are ways of handling it. To lie to a person who is already on shakey ground, already worried that he is cheating (this was a constant fear of Plath's and it seems cruel that Ted would then follow it through). Hughes had played out Plath's biggest fear - that of abandonment and of not being good enough in every way, despite her tireless drive for perfection. In the end, Plath lost her colossus, the man she had seen as a sort of god to a woman who, with her husband David, rented the Hughes's London flat at Court Green. From the beginning, Plath had sensed "a current of attraction" (Weevil told a friend) between Ted and Assia. This was her home, her husband and her child and it felt to Plath like it had been invaded or somehow polluted by this woman who would steal her husband.
Article comments
1 - SFC SKI
THanks for writing this peace, I am not much aware of Plath or her writing, but this was interesting to read.
It always leaves a sour tatse in my mouth when I consider the "tortured artist suicide", brilliant as they may be, their "opting out" from life always dimishes them talent for me.
We all have problems and feel overwhelmed at times, most of us struggle on, who deserves the accolades and interest more?
2 - srp
absolutely i agree with what you say, and even say so in the piece toward th end. that what they do is rob the world of talent -- and also, rom those who love them. having experienced the suicide of someone close, i know how awful the after affects, so i thihk we're on teh same page. Plath should be neither idolized nor hated because she opted out; she should be, like anyone, considered on the merits of her work - and even now, i htink she had incredibly talent. a bit wearing at times, but strong and clean nonethelss. Living only a block from the house she grew up in is odd; one feels compelled to say something...
thx. for reading, and be well
srp
3 - Mark Saleski
sadi, my wife teaches at a shelter for troubled girls. she said that a lot of the girls seem to be fixed recently on plath and cobain.
i guess when you're troubled you tend to seek solace in what looks like a 'like mind'.
4 - srp
that's interesting. i suppose it's normal to seek out as you say, a "like mind." I think though, speaking for myself, i actually DON'T identify with Plath -- i can get to her, understand her, but i'm not as erratic as she was, i'm not so black and white. i think for Sylvia, there was Absolute Good and Absolute Bad, and while i tend to believe in absolutes (which is likey part of my epilepsy), i am also so very aware of hte many shades of grey. that life is rarely so extreme. if she had seen this, then i doubt she would have taken her life. In some ways, i can respect her commitment to the absolutes - it's fierce and determined, but in the final account, she loses out on what could have been a pretty great life. she wanted perfect -- that is rare, if ever attained. If she only knew that the trick to getting closer what you want is to some extent, learning how to settle for less than perfect but pretty darn great...
just my opinion. . but it's helped me life a better life.
tx for reading and sharing about your wife; that's interesting, but dangerous. those kids need to focus on a role model who sees it through and doesn't take the easy way out. A person who went through immense shit but came out the other side, like William Styron (he's alive, right? i think he tried, but anyway). His book about depression is an absolute MUST if you are in that place. It's called "Darkness Visible" by William Styron. Check it out.
cheers,
srp
5 - Jame McPhail
Your piece is thoughtful and dramatic as Sylvia herself, but your georgraphy is off by miles. Sylvia lived on Johnson Avenue in Winthrop, Mass. Her parents (and grandparents) lived in a house on Boston harbor, which is several miles from the ocean side breakers in the photo, and your supposed apartment " few blocks away" on Winthrop Beach.
I guess imigination is what counts.
s
6 - Erstwhile Honan
Winthrop?
Not likely, since Ms Plath and her whole family moved from here when she was 10 years old..
7 - sadi
Plath lived in two places in Winthrop, one at the Schroeber's house and another on Johnston avenue. she moved when she was ten or eleven to Wellesley. the apartment where i lived is right around the corner from the Schroeber's beachfront place near Point Shirley, so yes, it was literally a few blocks away from where i was living.
Winthrop is important because Plath herself felt that this was her "true" home, according to her own diaries. She always felt that strong connection with the sea and often came back to Winthrop, even brining Ted Hughes here to visit the beach (the one i saw from my bedroom window) and her father's grave, which is right near St. John's Episcopal Church, where i attend and have seen Otto's grave.
I'm not sure what the disagreement is? Did you not know she lived in two places in Winthrop and that one was beach front? Also, you said, Not Likely without knowing where i live exactly -- so i'm not sure how you can know. The point and i believe i made it, if not, i'll say it here, is that Plath LIVED in Winthrop and that this was b y her own voice, where she considered home. That is what she herself thought, so amen.
If you disagree, then find some source b y her that says as much. I was saying that Winthrop WAS her true home, so i'm not clear on what the point was exactly -- in any event, Winthrop was close to her heart and she hated leaving here. That much i do know. and please, don't tell me where i live. If you are a Plath Scholar then you know she lived in two places in Winthrop, again, one on the beach, the other on the address you cite. What exactly is the problem here?
8 - sadi
oh, one more thing ' what the hell is "supposed apartment" a few blocks from the beach? Does it not exist? TRust me, i lived there up until a month ago. It exists. Indeed, it was less than half a block from the beach and the breakers. The harbor is NOT several miles, as you say from the photograph. It's about a five minute drive with traffic lights. Do you live in Winthrop? If so, then do as i did and make the drive and count the mileage. It's not "miles away..." as you say. I'm not going to argue geography with you but when you say my "supposed apartment" you're even doubting the existence of where i lived as if i had conjured it up, which is absurd. If you want to disagree about mileage, fine... but since i live here and make the drive every day and have visited all locations, then i think i would know. What's more, Winthrop itself couldn't be more several miles in and of itself. It's a small town right off of East Boston, separated by Saratoga Street, which runs over the water, so in effect,it creates and isthmus when the tide comes in. IF you live here, take the drive, count the mileage from Shore Drive to Johnson and report back. Otherwise, i'll have to trust that my apartment exists, that the photograph is near the breakers, that as you noted, as i note, plath lived in two places etc etc and that she often came to this beach in that photo came here with Ted Hughes.
I'm not repeating this again. It's too stupid. If you live here, again, go count the miles if it makes you happy, and if you like, i'll give you my old address so you can see that yes, in fact, it does exist and is yes, right there, a half a block from the ocean. Not imagination - but geographically correct and actually there.
9 - D.B. Cooper
It is kind of odd that this very interesting piece about a figure who has haunted us for several generations would be ignored all for the sake of making an unusual comment as to the location of the photograph or Sari's pad.....
Good God, we've all been haunted in some way by writings and photographs and history, and have returned to the exact spot where certain actions took place, perhaps hoping to catch a glimpse of a ghost, or imagine what it would have been like to have been there at a specific moment.
I have not a doubt Sari stood on those rocks, just as I have stood on rocks in Montana, in Gettysburg, in San Francisco, in Washington, D.C., imagining different places and unique minds. To doubt she did so is a bit strange....
10 - sadi
cheers, d.b.,
point well taken. be well, and rock on.
sadi
11 - J. Weaver
Hi,
I really enjoyed the article. I agree with the opinion you stated. I feel Ted's unfaithfulness sent Sylvia over the edge ending her life. Its a shame and tragic story of a relationship that went so wrong. It was a pretty cruel thing for him to do with a lady so honoring of him and so fragile in her own mind. I love her poetry though and she will live on in literary history. Thanks for the aritcle, it was an enjoyable read.
-Justin
12 - Sage
This was wonderful to read and i know all the places you talked about considering I grew up in Winthrop.
I suddenly felt like i was sixteen agian, clutching my ratty copy of bell jar as i stared out at the water.
Awesome.
13 - Johnthebarman
Thanks for a good read.