[Phrases borrowed - without sense or sensibilities, with absolutely no pride or prejudice -- from the writings of an elegant spinster]
On Lesbianism
How do you think I can live poking by myself, I who have been always used till this winter to have Charlotte with me.
-- The Gossip-Monger Mrs. Jennings; In Sense and Sensibility
On Masturbation
Astonished and shocked, she was almost ready to cry out, but checking her desire, confined herself to this silent ejaculation.
-- The Chatty Mrs. Jennings; In Sense and Sensibility
On Whorehouse Basics
Mrs. Goddard was the mistress of a school — not a seminary, or an establishment, or anything which professed, in long sentences of refined nonsense, to combine liberal acquirements with elegant morality, upon new principles and new systems — and where young ladies for enormous pay might be screwed out of health and into vanity — but a real, honest, old-fashioned boarding school, where a reasonable quantity of accomplishments were sold at a reasonable price.
-- In Emma
On Mating Rituals
To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love.
-- In Pride and Prejudice
On Weather
One likes to get out into a shrubbery in fine weather.
-- Rich and Indolent Lady Bertram; In Mansfield Park
I intended to call on the Miss Biggs yesterday had the weather been tolerable.
-- Jane Austen in a Letter to her Sister Cassandra
What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.
-- Jane Austen in a Letter to her Sister Cassandra
On Interference
I am afraid I interrupt your solitary ramble?
-- The Crafty Wickham to Clever Elizabeth Bennet; In Pride and Prejudice
You certainly do, but it does not follow that the interruption must be unwelcome.
-- Elizabeth Bennet's Smart-Catty Reply to Wickham; In Pride and Prejudice
I told him of all that had occurred to make my former interference in his affairs absurd and impertinent.
-- A Different Mr. Darcy talking about meddling in his friend's love life, to a Different Ms. Elizabeth Bennett; In Pride and Prejudice
Interference is permissible, desirable and successful - when it is kindly meant.
-- Final sentence of Pride and Prejudice; recognizing the helpful interference of Nice and Good Mrs. and Mr. Gardiner in uniting Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy
Article comments
1 - Natalie Bennett
Are you by any chance a subscriber to the C-18 email list? If not, a related, extremely heated, debate, has been raging there for days.
2 - Mayank 'Austen' Singh
Oh. No, I'm not. It sounds intresting though!
3 - Elizabeth Bennett
The first four item would have surely made ol' Jane giggle.
4 - Mayank 'Austen' Singh
Lizzie,
Say my hello to Darcy! And when am I being invited to Pemberley? I promise I won't be snooty like Caroline, nor a thug like Wickham, and of course I won't play it silly like Mr. Collins. I'll be as good and as clean as dear old Charlotte.
Smile
5 - Mr. Real Estate
Very interesting quotes.
6 - Elizabeth Bennett
Well, Mr. Singh, you're welcome to Pemberley! Mr. Collins would be happy to entertain a gentleman from a former colony.
7 - Mayank 'Austen' Singh
But Lizzie, am afraid that being a humble-brown subject of a former colony, Mr. Collins may perhaps be too condencending and haughty towards me. And I will be too scared of Lady Catherine de Borough. Unlike you my courage do not always rises with every attempt to intimidate me! Oh gosh, what to do....
8 - passerby
Pretty clever, but is it contextual?
9 - Mayank 'Austen' Singh
The first three quotes have been taken out of context. Unfortunately.
10 - Mayank 'Austen' Singh
I'm deeply vexed to declare that there was a serious flaw in this my article on Jane Austen.
In a most sinful, ignorant, unpardonable fashion, perhaps spurred by my haste in sending the article for a quick publication, I overlooked a shocking factual inaccuracy.
I had authoritatively declared in my article that the quote 'Interference is permissible, desirable and successful - when it is kindly meant' is the final sentence in Pride and Prejudice. It is not. The concluding sentence is actually: "With the Gardiners, they were always on the most intimate terms. Darcy, as well as Elizabeth, really loved them; and they were both ever sensible of the warmest gratitude towards the persons who, by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been the means of uniting them".
I'm devastated by my so elemental and public failure in acquiring complete knowledge of the works of Jane Austen. I offer my apologies knowing fully well that their acceptance will hardly be able console my present distress, disgrace and vexation.