All of my work is about trying to fight against cultural homelessness, trying to create some sense of hope in a world that really isn't very hopeful — I think we can recognize how horrible the things are around us, not get all delusional and fake-positive/everything’s-great, and still fight for some sense of belonging in the margins — the margins of the page, or the margins off the page.
I think it’s hard to create a book that shares one’s soul and that touches the soul of another because it requires a kind of fearless self-lacerating honesty, a bit of need, and a passion for truth. I mean there are memoirs that are self-serving or rationalizing or flawlessly beautiful…and yet… Your books are remarkably free from rationalizations. I love that.
Carole, "remarkably free from rationalizations" — that's beautiful, that's exactly what I'm trying to do.
Hey, I’m a truth addict, actually. Plus I’m a Christian. I aim for truth. But truth makes books like So Many Ways To Sleep Badly a hard read. Because even those who are your allies and who walk the borderlands with you might not want to hear what you’re saying. Hey, we live in a world of pundits, alliances, cultural notions of identity, conformity, and arguments. And we’re also human. We want peace for ourselves and we don’t like to be challenged.
But without challenge, what's the point?
I smiled when I read one of the passages where you talked about the gay culture. I think I smiled because with a few changes here and there some of the stuff you were angry about – not sex issues-- could be used against any culture that simply doesn’t want to see that it needs heavy self-examination. There’s often as much rage against the gay culture as against the wider culture. It must be so hard to be an outsider among outsiders. I mean, do gay folks challenge you about your stance on gay marriage?
Oh, you mean the fact that I think gay marriage is a dead end, that if we want cultural erasure then sure, gay marriage is on the right path, but otherwise what we really need to be fighting for is an end to marriage, period. I mean, marriage is tacky and outdated and oppressive — even middle-of-the-road straight people know that!
So yes, plenty of gay people would rather I disappear — I can guarantee you that! As far as my anti-assimilationist stance, so much of it is about accountability — straight people are not going to hold gay gentrifiers accountable for the violence they enact, right?
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