Humans who adopt more than three dogs are forced to relearn daily something they already knew anyway; that dogs need to belong to a pack and that, as their numbers increase, they'll take the dog pack over the family pack.
A pack of dogs is not the same as a dog or two. There's always a top dog, and the more dogs they top, the more power they have. They can say therefore: "We're pooping in the bathroom now!" Or "It's the smelly cat girl! Kill her!" or "Either move your ass or get off the goddam bed."
We had two little dogs, took in a third, then took in two more when our daughter moved home. Five little dogs that bark. And each one of them has a special word they loudly repeat in variously-pitched voices for the purpose of driving me nuts.
The words are: barf, ruck, wood, who and beef. Put it all together, it goes like this:
Wood. Who? Barf! ruckruckruck wood ruckruck wood ruck beef! wood who beef!beef! wood ruck wood ruck who barf barf beef wood who who who
Very pretty but it drives me nuts. Hip-hoppin' dogs ain't happenin' for me. No rhythm. No tune. No variance. Similar to hip hop but not.
I worry about neighbors and cops knocking on my door, but my neighbors all have dogs too, and two of them are cops, and one's a police dog. They ALL bark.
This is comforting, but doesn't fix my complaint. I hate it. Beef barf ruck who wood are distracting concepts, and something always had to be done. What I did was join in. "No barking! No barking!"
It doesn't help. It only makes it louder. They don't mind. I'm welcome to join in. They think it's cute. Aw, the man wants to play...
Euthanasia is anathema to dog worship, but killing is okay. Sometimes it's the only way to get their attention. When I say, "I'm going to kill the dogs," it means I walk around with a rolled up newspaper. It works beautifully for everything but typing.
Then my eyes were opened. Angels sang, and when I told them to shut up, they did. I was in Petco. There were books. I was looking for the answer in this book and that book, index, contents, nothing, nothing. Nothing but books about expensive pedigree dogs purposely made ugly by bad haircuts and the importance of brushing their teeth at least once a day. Nothing about packs, mutts or middle-aged street dogs adopted from shelters. Only one book was left unexplored, but I hesitated to touch it out of an inbred hatred of any book series, be it Left Behind to The Hardy Boys.