It's the meta-bitter reader review roundup, by your favorite purveyor of bitterness herself, Shannon of bitter-girl.com!
Nothing Feels Good: Punk Rock, Teenagers, and Emo?
Someone call Henry Rollins! The title alone needs to be smacked around. Though it seems the Amazon reviewers are doing a fine job of that on their own...such vitriol! It's renewed some of my lost faith in American readership. For that reason alone, I think we need to salute these fine Amazonians. First, though, let's laugh at the editorial review quote from Blender magazine:
"This thoughtful, inquisitive book is, like the genre itself, really all about the fans...It's Catcher In The Rye with guitars."
Uh-huh. Catcher In The Rye with guitars. Gotcha. You were out drinking last night, weren't you? A reader from Central Florida writes:
The very concept of this book is ridiculous. It's almost a self-parody. The author, it seems, is too dumb to realize quite a few things:
a) the bands discussed in this book are on the same corporate caliber as the bands it denounces.
b) bands like Jimmy Eat World, Thursday, and Dashboard Confessional are not elusive indie acts, they are millionaires and any rock radio station you tune into will gladly cram them down your throat.
c) Said bands do not fall under the true category of emo.
d) Obviously publishing a book like this will only further exploit and distort the popular image of the very music it supposedly holds sacred.
If this book looks like it would even remotely appeal to you, do us all a favor and waste your money on it.
Ok, that was a nice bit o' bitterness, my Floridian friend, but you had to ruin it with (c) — emo defensiveness makes it tough to mock the bad-emo book. Mike B. Brody, though, wins the Best Review Title award: "Carson Daly wrote a book?!", further commenting:
He spends about 1% of the book talking about the actual history of "emo", which is the only interesting part of the book/genre! It's almost like he's relieved to get that part out of the way and start writing about what he really knows about: Dashboard Confessional. And I'll bet that's about when he started listening to "emo". The writing drives me nuts. Every sentence has to contain something like "like a diabetic in a candy store" or something else a high school kid would write.
He spends a whole chapter writing about how Weezer isn't an emo band anymore! They never WERE emo, retard. Did you get to decide? Why isn't Nine Inch Nails emo, then? Or Pearl Jam? I guess that makes "Black" the biggest emo song ever. Or how about that "Turn Around Bright Eyes" song from the early 80's? That made my mom cry!
Reader Deyna is obviously trying to get into author Andy Greenwald's pants while simultaneously getting herself hot thinking about skinny vegan boys in tight shirts. Check it out:
Whoever judges this book without reading it from front to back has no right whatsoever. it's one thing if you read it and think it's total bogus- it's just plain hypocracy if you don't read it at all and judge it all you'd like. i sincerley ask that you give it a try. even if you're a metal head with a deep desire of killing all those who claim emo-ness and abhor all people who wear a wristband and tight shirts. from this book you gain a true knowledge of a topic not many people know about. and for this- i thank andy endlessly.
Deyna, Deyna, Deyna. Come on, sweetie. Put down the marker, no one's putting Xs on their hands anymore. That's so 1990. The only straightedge I'm looking for is a razor to cut off that crazy metal seal they put over the cork on my lambic bottle.