Generation GAP, Eddie Bauer, and Hot Topic, Too - Page 2

And then there's the youth who, having narrowly escaped Amerikkka's draconian prison culture and, while in between shifts at McDonald's, get our widdle heads patted by patronizing boomers like we were still their kids, like THEY aren't the most immature, egocentric, greedy, self-indulgent generation on the planet, like this bunch of Peter Pan I-won't-grow-up Fairies have the right to pat anyone on the head, and say, "Oh, isn't the angry little X generation funny? They wanna be like us."

No, we don't want to be like you. You're a bunch of GOP voting, tax cut grubbing, narcissistic, self-interested, whining, immature, hypocritical, deficit-driving SUV whores. We want your fat, old, thieving asses to retire already; or better yet, die, and stop perpetuating the lies of a pathetic culture that facilitates your arthritic last clutch at our purses. And don't even think about sending our little brothers off to a war that your fucking president started, we already have to pay for it for the rest of our lives.

I guess we should thank our elders, since at the ripe old age of 35 many of us are still allowed to live at home, because our predecessors priced the home market out of our reach with their hoarde of interest-only loans and 30-year second mortgages that their grandchildren will be left to pay off; we have no health insurance; no job prospects because we still have to compete with their tired, incompetent, stoned asses; and we're making a dollar or two over minimum wage (which has been so generously raised all the way up to still below poverty level).

To add insult to injury, school was virtually free for their generation, and now that they're in charge we can't fucking afford college (because our Pell grants paid for our elders' tax cuts), yet they want to tout how much more educated their generation is than everyone else. Big fucking deal, most of the Boom boomed off to college to avoid the draft. We're a significantly smaller generation than our predecessors' generation; why can't we have free community college? Oh, that's right, it's because the Rubber Baby Boomer Bogarts were done with college, so, obviously, nobody else needed any education. And, while I'm on the subject of education, my bogus little Boomers, you've made really lousy mentors to us, too. Saved by Zero, indeed.

And now they want our social security? Just because this generation of spoiled little wrinkled-up kids are in hoc up to their nipped and injected jowls to pay off the lease on their Escalades, Barbie-Doll boobies, Viagra copays, coke parties, trophy wives, American Express fees, and the second mortgages on their bubble-economy condominiums doesn't mean that X's retirement pittance should be made available to finance their endless supply of narcissism.

Article Author: Melisande Luna

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