He writes in "Robbing Myself"
"I peered a while as through the keyhole
Into my darkened, hushed, safe casket
From which (I did not know)
I had already lost the treasure."
Hughes also speaks in other poems of falling "into the abyss" with her when she dies, as if he too is dying and gone. There is nothing left for him here.
There is a fear of meeting one too much like yourself. Something slightly or not so slightly unnerving about that, as if your two souls are one and you are kindred and twin. When this happens, great things are possible, but should one twin not be able to handle the symbiosis, the beautiful co-dependency (co-dependency, I’m convinced, gets a bad rap. It’s a good deal and can work beautifully and find me someone who isn’t co-dependent in some way. Hughes, like Sylvia, had met his match in every way; she was as passionate, as talented, as brilliant, and as attractive to the opposite sex when she wanted to be. Both were incredibly charming and gifted, yet Sylvia chose to put this in her marriage and Hughes took his fame and the attention of young adoring students and placed a value on that, which is cheap and not worth much, which ultimately he know.
Too bad he found out so late that ego validation is cheap and just because someone fucks you doesn’t mean you’re great or a good person or a better person. We can all do those things; the real trick is finding your match and living up to that challenge every day. I’d put a helluva lot more stock in what that person thought of me and my work that some Sloane Ranger publicist like Assia Weevil who was all about proving something for her ego. It’s too pathetic and I’d like to believe, too beneath Hughes, yet he did it.
Still, I read Ariel and Birthday Letters side by side and I feel that there is some kind of reconciliation going on. A reunion and a taking stock and that the end result is resolution.
Read both together, and see what it means to love so deeply that it hurts.
Love stinks.
Article comments
1 - Steve
Wonderful writing, Sadi - I'm a guy and I felt pretty angry with Hughes after I first discovered Sylvia. I wanted to ask specifically why you don't accept the possibility that Plath was bipolar. You are quite right when you state that her symptoms could have been TLE and Geshwind's - but all of them fall fairly well under the bipolar umbrella as well. I personally don't assume I know, and if it were bipolar disorder or any 'mental' illness it would not change my estimation of her genius one iota. I am intensely familiar with manic-depression, and sometimes that may lead me to suspect it too quickly, so I'd like to see what you think.
2 - sadi
hey there;thanks for such thoughtful commments. She could be bipolar, but that does't explain the relgious imagery, the stickiness, the other odd quirkly little things that seem more unique to 'TLE than manic depresssion, tho i beileve she had some seizures and that would clarify the diagnosis.
either as you say, should not influence your or anyone's estimation of her genius. Either a mental condition or neurlogicalone like TLE makes no difference - and in fact, they have found a strong link between TLE and genius and the artistic temperament - so that's also confirmting of this to me. Either way, i'm grateful to you for reading and for your thoughtful comment.
stay well,
cheers
sadi
3 - Robert Nagle
Thanks for the terrific essay (I'll blog it in my own blog when I get the chance). I was aware of the Ted Hughes poetry book and had been meaning to read it; thanks for reminding me.
Poets and artists can be hard to deal with in relationships, and although I don't condone Ted Hughes' behavior, at least I can say that I've seen similar types of bheavior in many people (including an ex of mine).
I guess I can't make any judgment on the poems themselves until I actually look at them (although I've read snippets here or there). Still, you have to give credit to the man for taking an enormous risk in publishing these poems.
A final somewhat irrelevant point. I found out about this Hughes book while teaching literature overseas. The book hadn't come out yet, but I would have loved to use both books in a classroom environment; it would provoke some some soulful discussions in class. Maybe the tragedy of their lives is terrible, but literature teachers henceforth will be grateful that this compelling backstory will generate lots of interest in students for generations.
4 - sadi
thanks, yes it is a tragic story -- but needs to be told for what it really was and i think the only way that's possible is through reading Ariel and Birthday Letters side by side by the two participants themselves and not through the lens of a biographer or through Olwyn Hughes who controls the estate....
in any event; there is much to teach, you are right about that. and if you need any reference visit my other site at www.aboutplathhughes.blogspot.com and feel free to link and if you send me your link, i'll link back as well.
my home page is listed here but the other is solely about Hughes and Plath.
Cheers, and hope this is useful.
sadi
5 - Robert Nagle
Yes, whatever the reality, the legend will quickly overtake it.
6 - Lynn Duvall
both books plumb my emotional roots, tugging at the deepest, most entangled nameless feeling-memories. i weep at the image of hughes and his two motherless children listening to the wolves singing in the snow outside as they try to sleep. And Ariel? nobody said it better than A. Alvarez: "Poetry of this order is a murderous art."
i've always wondered how hughes reconcilled leaving sylvia because assia (bet sylvia had fun with THAT name) was pregnant when he was abandoning sylvia with TWO children that he had fathered. just curious, not accusatory. i'll leave the hughes bashing to others.
something i read recently challenges the stereotypical image of sylvia overwhelmed and exhausted with childcare and household duties while hughes wrote all day: apparently, hughes took care of frieda for 4 hours every day so sylvia could write. possibly, this stopped or became less regular when nicholas was born. possibly, it didn't.
7 - sadi
well, Lynn, first, thanks for your comments. you sound like you come from a place of knowledge, which is great... and also, a deeper emotional understanding. You are right; TEd did watch the children for a few hours every day, and that was the deal. More, he paid for a nanny who was there most of the day so that Sylvia could work, up until her death she had a nanny, but the thing was, she kept firing them, because she was so damn mercurial, and let's be honest, difficult.
I believe that on the day of her death, she was between Nannies and had just fired one; i could be wrong. i'll check and see, because that would be interesting. It's amazing to me too that Hughes left Syvvi for Assia because Assia was pregnant yet Syvvi had two children by him. That doesn't make any sense at all and sounds much more like an excuse.
I think he was just overwhelmed by her personality at that point and tired of all the jealousy and accusations, even IF they had , as they did, a real basis in reality. In short, he did not want to deal with it and face his own shame or whatever. He was who he was, and even after Sylvia died, he cheated on Assia, and after Assia committed suicide, taking their daughter Shura with her, he then hooked up with someone else and cheated on her. HE was also with Jillian Becker, cheated on her too. He cheated on EVERYONE. He was never loyal as far as i know, and i'm not bashing him...it's just a fact of his life. That's who he was.
listen, i LIKE TEd HUghes. I think he was immensely talented, but i think he was also very egotistical and basically, a country boy who became famous and it went straight to his head. Women who maybe would never have looked at him suddenly fell to his knees, you know, and for a boy from Yorkshire, this would be a big deal. He wasn't so great looking, but he WAS a "colussus" as Sylvia wrote (she said the same of her father...). He wrote great poems, loud booming poems and strong work. He was also very charismatic, which can make up for looks in many ways - charisma will trump looks every time. it's hard to resist. Sylvia had it too, but was so involved in Hughes's life that she let her own slip by, which is really fucking sad (pardon language, but i feel strongly about this). Why waste your life watching for signs of betrayal.
IF they are there, then you see them, then in my view, either leave the bastard, or go and have an affair of your own. There is some proof that after Ted left, Sylvia DID have a brief affair with someone (not Alvarez, who felt she was too "fragile."), but some other writer. Ted, who had beenthinking of reunion, found out and that was the deal breaker. That may not be true, but several authors have said this now and it would make sense. Sylvia was looking and surely, she was good looking, talented, charismatic enough to find someone and likely did.
As in most marriages, there are odd deals made. In theirs, as in too many that i've personally seen, the deal was that HE could cheat (he was the "man" in his terms) and she could NOT. She was to be his high on her pedestal holy virgin and he could go out and have his others for sex. I think he never stopped loving her. I think he loved her more than Assia, but i think that wasn't enough.
Hard as this is to hear or even believe perhaps, love is not always enough to sustain.
Sad but true....
I could write pages more, but won't.
Thanks for listening/reading... and thanks for your commments. we could chat offline and visit my other site
'
www.aboutplathhughes.blogspot.com if the spirit moves you.
cheers,
sadi