What do Apple Jack Frosted Kelloggs and the book Undead and Unwed have in common? They both taste good, well initially, but then as you progress through the meal and book the desire to gag seems eminent.
Today, on a cold afternoon I curled up on the couch with this girlie book about a designer shoe-crazy vampire queen and a bowl of frosted Kelloggs that my palette was getting to taste for the first time.
As the sweet taste coated my mouth the beginning lines of the novel teased my mind and engaged my interest. I was instantly reminded me of a Showtime show called Dead like Me. Both the heroines were a pain in the neck who refused to accept the fact they were dead (initially) and their whine-y behavior had those who were trying to help them exasperated beyond the point of human endurance.
The book is about a rich spoilt brat who loves her designer shoes, hates her job, her home-wrecking step mother but is overall a nice person with a zest for life which she refuses to give up despite being dead and sporting fangs.
She is a Paris Hilton-style Vampire Queen living an undead life in Minneapolis yet her lifestyle and that of the hero’s is akin to that of Charlotte’s from Sex and the City.
Expensive shoes, Armani suits, mansions and witty dialogues fall stale as the story lacks depth and suspense. A rich girl dies, becomes a vampire who is impervious to stereotypical defenses against the undead like crosses, holy water and has Arnold like strength which we are reminded of chapter after chapter where her gentle shoves cause humans and vampire alike to sail across the room.
She is a foretold queen who has had finally arisen after being bitten by the lowest in the vampire order. No explanation is given as to why she is ‘God’s beloved’ nor as to why. Vampires can drink blood and have simultaneous orgasms with their victims (Was the author trying to promote consensual sex or was she trying to be politically correct? One can only postulate)