Book Review: Toxic Feedback - Helping Writers Survive and Thrive

It could be argued that writers come from dysfunctional backgrounds. Now, I don’t think this is an absolute, but surely some of us have had at least a taste of the tortured artist syndrome? The point comes up, because the word toxic tends to conjure up more than just a dirty ocean, or nasty creeping mold found in an unfortunate dwelling. For many of us, toxic connotes a little psychobabble popular a few years back.

But more importantly, toxicity hurts. Big time. Cole recounts a story from her early writing days. She had taken a college class in fiction writing and every week hopeful students submitted a story to the teacher who would pick one for a class discussion. When Cole submitted hers, it was not picked. That didn’t upset her so much, but she really wanted to hear the professor’s feedback. As soon as she could, she reviewed her manuscript to see his comments. She had to search the whole thing and finally found just three words on the back, “It’s all wrong.” 

As Cole demonstrates in Toxic Feedback, this is the kind of criticism that can outright silence someone, or create skittish writers who cannot freely express themselves, because they stopped being honest on the page.

Cole’s purpose in writing this book is to not only make us cautious when giving feedback, but also to help us understand what to avoid on the receiving end, and if you can’t avoid, how to bounce back from critiques and feedback that come under the guise of helpful, but in reality are very harmful

Her writing voice is very engaging, very friendly. She reminds me of some of my favorite writing authorities; Natalie Goldberg, Annie Lamott and of course, Stephen King. And as these accomplished authors do, Cole actually imparts useful wisdom, not just on finding and understanding feedback, but on the general process of writing.

In a chapter called Feedback Hotlines, Cole uses the examples of her own lifesaving colleagues: 

“So now when my mind has gone blank, I often phone Meredith, because Meredith is a scientist-pagan-novelist who knows something interesting about everything.

Or I’ll call Lois who writes powerful poetry and is in her late eighties, because when Lois doesn’t like something I’ve written, she tells me bluntly, and how can I get mad at someone in her eighties? 

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Article Author: Mary K. Williams

Mary K. is a freelance entertainment writer living in the Greater Boston area. She pens CD reviews for Metronome Magazine and is a former Features Editor for Hot Psychology Magazine. Mary K. has also contributed to the anthology, Brewed Awakenings.

Visit Mary K. Williams's author page — Mary K. Williams's Blog