Book Review: The Year I Learned to Text: Why Am I Having Sex with a Muslim in My Basement? by Juliet Montague

Sixty-year-old Juliet Montague is a part-time actress, comedian, and real estate agent. She has also been divorced four times. She lives a quiet life with her two dogs. Being a relationship kind of lady, when loneliness strikes she decides to try online dating. While she easily weeds out a few serious losers, she finds herself being drawn under the spell of a thirty-eight-year-old Persian Muslim named Ali. Initially she tries to convince him that he is crazy for wanting to date a woman her age, but he manages to win her over. After a couple of dates, she finds herself unable to stop thinking about him.

Ali is an attractive man who seems to know how to hit all of Juliet’s vulnerable spots — her emotional ones, anyway. Sexually, he knows that she craves a physical connection with him; however, he is a very selfish lover. Claiming religious reasons, he does not invite her into his home to meet his family. He also tells her that she can be his lover for five years, and then he has to marry a woman that will be of his faith and be able to bear him children. He is not willing to offer her much, yet she stays hooked on him. When their dates dwindle down to romantic encounters in her house, and phones calls become intermittent texts, Juliet still stays attached to him. Not even his constantly running nose can dissuade her from being with him.

Juliet does try to move forward with her life. She continues to do occasional dates with men from the Internet; however, none of them would be capable of helping her move beyond Ali. She also buys a small dream home in the mountains where she can escape from city life. Ali, of course, thinks that it is too far of a drive, even though he is willing to travel farther to be with friends. One thing Juliet is able to do is use her relationship with Ali as a great source for material for her stand up routines.

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Article Author: Paige Lovitt

I review books for Reader Views. I was born in Long Beach, California but raised on the east coast in New Jersey but now reside in the Imperial Valley. I have a Master of Science degree in Vocational Rehabilitation Counseling. …

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