Maybe the answer starts with the individual. And so the aphorism "Know thyself" comes under scrutiny not just as sagacity tendered by the ancient Greeks, but more devastatingly as a cautionary warning "regarded as superfluous by the young. Also regarded as superfluous by the middle-aged and the old, and regarded by many of all ages as disruptive or irrelevant." "Know thyself" also gets support – which is not superfluous by any means — with an anecdote about director Preston Sturges and his classic Sullivan’s Travels. (See "laughter,… A giveaway, on reading in public, of incipient insanity. Useful when wanting to keep the adjoining seat vacant.")
Koenig also offers constructive ripped-from-the-mists-of-time events in an attempt to pin down the ever-changing denotations of "diversity n. the Doctrine that variety is the spice of life and the ideal habitat an Indian restaurant." More helpful than an abstract by-the-book definition is an illustrative bit of background bluster that brings to the fore the squawking-head incident of a senator who, in 1970, had defended a Supreme Court nominee said to be a mediocrity. "There are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers," posits the officeholder ("politician n. Official afflicted with a proleptic form of amnesia…"). "They are entitled to a little representation, aren’t they?" Back to Koenig: "At the time he was ridiculed and his candidate defeated. Time however, proved him a visionary."
Imagine the scenario: I’m sorry if you are sensitive to me calling you mediocre and I apologize if you feel ridiculous when I ridicule you. Which is, though I exaggerate for effect, the belabored, non-apologetic kind of lip service that frequently passes for an apology these days. As if! (conj.) I bet Bierce never thought the lowly two-letter ‘if’ would be misapplied by irresponsible social scofflaws and lend itself to revisionist denotation. What’s next? Defining what "is" is? In any case, Koenig now sees an embellished role for the "Modifier used by those who don’t want to risk apologizing for nothing."
"We are sorry if you have suffered any inconvenience."
"I am sorry," ...wait for it… "if I have caused distress by not waiting to publish my account of his sexual habits until after the funeral." ("funeral n. Opportunity, like weddings and christenings, for social climbing").
Speaking of death ("n. Event whose unknown arrival time and lack of photo opportunities lead many to doubt it will arrive at all"), Koenig also adapts and updates and in general helps fill in the information gaps, technological breakthroughs, scientific and artistic advances, and innovations ("n. Something that can fail in a new way") made since Bierce's mysterious disappearance at the end of 1913 when he was 71; he supposedly went off to observe the Mexican Revolution — it was all the rage back — never to be seen again.
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