The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri was a book recommended by my Mom. (No surprise here that the book was beautiful - another good call, Mom).
Ms. Lahiri follows the lives of an Indian family, primarily looking at events from the perspective of their oldest son, Gogol. The family moves to the US in 1968, which at first felt like ancient history until I realized I was born that year. It eloquently describes the many things that foreigners face when coming to America, and also looks into the cultural differences that develop within the family. The children born in America struggle with their parents' Indian heritage.
It was a gentle but firm reminder to me to consider other people's frame of reference. I frequently interact with people from many different countries and rarely have I ever been so completely immersed in what the experience must be like. I grew up in America as did my parents and I am a white male. It's easy for me to forget what that means when speaking to someone who isn't.
Gogol goes through many of the things that I went through, such as the awkwardness of the teen years, the dismissal of my parents' vulnerability as I was growing up and understanding it more compassionately now, and the distance that has grown between me and my parents as I moved through my own life, without the added aspect of being Indian with immigrant parents. Ms. Lahiri took particular care to stay real without placing blame. Gogol doesn't lay the blame for his difficulties on Americans; rather he first blames his parents and then himself.
I loved how Ms. Lahiri described the dynamic of Gogol being confused about why being from Calcutta or speaking Bengali was practically a prerequisite for being in their own "in" crowd, when that very dynamic is what caused the family pain and suffering.
Another aspect that I often speak of with folks from other countries is distance (literally) from their families. When Gogol is born, Ashima, his mother, looks at the "friends" gathered around and thinks:
"For as grateful as she feels for the company of the Nandis and Dr. Gupta, these acquaintances are only subsititutes for the people who really ought to be surrounding them. Without a single grandparent or parent or uncle or aunt at her side, the baby's birth, like most everything else in America, feels somehow haphazard, only half true."
Article comments
1 - Namrata
It was an interesting review to read. Specifically, the part where you mention how you alter/mould people's name's to suit your perspective/frame of reference. Its something a lot of us do- including myself, inspite of being one of those whose name ends up getting mis-pronounced and distorted frequently, being an immigrant East Indian. Being congnizant of one's own fallacies (if you could call it that- I am one of those who always has to make do with words that almost describe what I have to say, as I am perpetually scouting around for The Exact word to spell my mind, albeit in vain) takes a lot of perspective, which I've long realised, is easier said than done and sharing it, even under an assumed identity or the anonymity that the internet offers, takes at least some courage.
Way to go :-))
You've got me interested in a book which on the face of it, seemed like yet another tale of the woes of an East Indian raised in America.
Cheers
Namrata
2 - Tim Taylor
Namrata,
I'm touched that you have shared your honest perspective with me. It's interesting that you note that the book seemed like yet another tale of the woes of an East Indian raised in America.
I didn't realize there were so many. So, perhaps, I'm lucky in that I got one that I enjoyed so much to begin with.
As for the word you are looking for, it might be conditioning. At least that's what it is for me. If I can step outside myself and gently observe why, for example, I give anyone nicknames that I recognize without judging myself for doing it, suddenly compassion flows.
Inside of that, instantaneously I can change the way I do things. And even if I stray from that path, it's nice because I know that i have (I can feel it).
Thank you again, if you do decide to read it, I would love to read what you thought.
Tim Taylor
3 - Raj
WTF is an 'East Indian' ? No self-respecting Indian calls himself/herself an 'East Indian'..
4 - Victor Plenty
The opposite of a "West Indian," of course.
5 - Tim Taylor
Raj,
What is the definition, in your mind, of a self-respecting Indian? (outside of course, of describing, geographically, where in India he or she happens to be from)
I'm asking this question with respect, because, candidly, I don't have any idea what you are talking about and I would like to understand.
6 - Tim Taylor
BTW, a big reason I'm asking this is because it's relevant to the book itself. It seems to me that Ms. Lahiri is trying to make sense of why one might associate a level of self-respect based on where someone is from or what that means.
7 - Victor Plenty
In my experience, "East Indian" refers to people from anywhere in India. "West Indian" refers to people from the Caribbean.
Of course, these terms are rarely used by anyone to describe themselves. "East Indians" call themselves simply Indians. "West Indians" call themselves Jamaican, Trinidadian, etc.
Personally, I blame Columbus.
8 - Tim Taylor
Victor,
Thanks. The last line is funny and makes sense.
9 - distar
Ms. Lahiri is one of my favorite authors and I am eagerly awaiting her next novel. I feed my addiction meanwhile with her shortstories published in the New Yorker. I can't wait for the film version of the Namesake.