In the interest of full disclosure, I am a high school sports parent. That's why I requested Jim Thompson's The High School Sports Parent: Developing Triple Impact Competitors. I was anxious for some words of wisdom from Coach Thompson on how to avoid being that jerk parent court-side, rink-side, poolside, or balance-beam side.I have been, am, and will continue to be a sports parent for some time. As a mother of a high school sophomore who rows crew and two 8th grade swimmers, I will be a high school sports parent for four and one-half years. But who's counting. One of my 8th graders is a nationally ranked swimmer, and I anticipate all kinds of problems as he goes into high school. The gentle jokes, jibes and blanket statements about how my son was going to this coach or that coach's school seemed to start back in the pre-k days. I came to this book with high hopes.I looked to The High School Sports Parent for guidance on how to balance the more-important academics of high school with the also important sports career of the teenager. Although I found Mr. Thompson's book to be more oriented toward the more popular sports - football, baseball, etc, it contained many useful guidelines on sports parenting. Basically, the message is stay out of the coach's way and do what's best for your child in the ways you can. It's Common Sense: The Sports Pamphlet.
The "triple impact competitor" of the subtitle is the high school athlete who is making herself/himself better through sports while at the same time, contributing to the team and contributing to the sport altogether. While the student is busy doing this, what is the parent to do? How does the parent maintain an eye on the big picture? Mr. Thompson describes specific yet simplistic protocols, complete with bold type and bullet points, to help helpless parents become "second goal" parents: "parents who let coaches and athletes worry about winning. Parents have a much more important role: focusing on teachable moments and life lessons that their kids can take away from sports."This, of course, sounds ideal. I want the school team to win, I am as competitive as the next hockey dad, but I also want my children to have success and at the same time to rein myself in from being a helicopter parent. However, as a parent, I am obligated to keep a watchful eye on coaches, coaches like Jim Thompson. Sometimes these other adults in your young adults' lives don't always have the children's long-term interests at heart. A high school championship is for one year. A coach's job may depend upon it. The physical and emotional impact of reaching for that championship can last a lifetime for the athlete. Everyone involved — coach, parent, athlete, administration — have different motivations. Some sections, such as "How High School Sports Differs from Professional Sports," besides the problematic grammar, strike the reader as filler. I think, that most people, even the ones screaming at the coach, realize that high school sports differ from pro sports. Some of the most important discussions lie deep in the book such as Chapter 5: Avoiding the Talent Trap - Reality for the Scholarship Athlete. The National Collegiate Athletic Association cites that 6.1 percent of high school senior baseball players play baseball in college. And that's one of the highest percentages. This percentage doesn't indicate the extent of the scholarships either. Some of the most gifted swimmers we know received half-scholarships to schools that flattered and fawned the athlete all the way to the letter of intent.This section alone should be required reading for any parent attending their freshman's fall sport information meeting. The basic reality of high school sports is this: "COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIPS ARE NOT WORTH THE EFFORT" - capital letters my own. This crucial point is driven home by the author. If you and your child are in this for the scholarship, get out now, because it's not going to happen. And even if it does, all the expense of the sport up to that point will not justify the scholarship. You are spending money to save money.The lessening economic viability of the college athletic scholarship will become even more so as college budgets tighten in the years ahead so it bears repeating: the road to a successful college experience is not through high school sports. As a parent of a college Division One athlete, it is hard to react correctly to the parents who clap me on the back at my youngest child's swim meets. They congratulate me on future collegiate scholarships. One parent used the words Texas and Stanford and scholarship in the same sentence. They are parents embarking on the high school journey, not the old, wizened creature I am with college age children. They don't know. And they can't hear my eyes rolling back in my head.
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