Every two pages there is an extremely graphic sex scene, which I am not against as long as it’s good sex. But this isn’t.
Have you ever had one of those nothing-to-do days? You’ve finished cleaning the house, the kids are at school/out playing with friends, your partner is away working/having an affair/out with friends, leaving you alone and bored. So you look for something to keep you occupied, something to stimulate you. Well, Basem Darwish thinks he has the answer. Summer Liaison is a romance novel with a difference. Unfortunately that difference is he has no literary talent. None at all. Not even a little. Not a sausage. My 12-year-old could have written a more interesting and coherent romance novel than this man.…
Article comments
26 - A.L. Harper
Woo Hoo! Thanks Natalie!
27 - Basem Darwish
Dear A.L.Harper,
It's me, Basem Darwish. I just wanted to write you a little message to thank you for reviewing my book. Overall, the review was excellent. However, I did feel compelled to clarify a few points that I believe would help everyone to better understand the purpose behind Summer Liaison.
The first thing is that I wrote Summer Liaison to be a completely different form of a romance novel. I have been reading romance novels for years, and I have read so many that were very serious, had a strong literary backing, and really just followed a drawn out and complex plot. When I decided to write my own romance novel, I wanted to write a story that was both entertaining and outrageously funny. Furthermore, I didn’t want to focus too much on minor, specific details and create a long, boring story. As a result, I decided make Summer Liaison a story that would be more humorous and unbelievable than anything else. And, this is why I choose the simple plot of having three women fight over one guy. That was designed to be the sole purpose of the story, and everything revolved around that, including Rickey’s secret, which I don’t believe you mentioned in your review. In this manner, I created a unique story where the reader would focus on this one point and would be eager follow these crazy and hilarious characters to the end of the story.
In keeping with the outrageous tone of the book, I decided that the biggest influence on the story would be the sex scenes. Now, I completely agree with you that the sex scenes were unbelievable, and that was the effect I was trying to achieve. On more than one occasion in your review, you mentioned that these scenes were funny and that they made you laugh. And, that was the reaction that I wanted from the readers. I wanted them to say to themselves, ‘This is outrageous. That is not even possible,” as they struggle to read these scenes from laughter. I know that, when compared to real life intimate situations, the scenes in my story are just not what really takes place. Those things don’t happen (most times, as I can’t speak for everyone), and I know that is not an indicator of what women like or what men like. In my opinion, I don’t think that the readers should live their intimate lives vicariously through my novel. I am sure that some of the things done by Rickey, Lisa, and Pamela defy the laws of Physics and Science, such as the “spontaneous lactation” However, I’ll just leave that for the readers to decide.
The other outrageous items that you pointed out, such as the drink spilling on Jennifer because of the waiter’s distraction from her ‘well-breasts” and the 48-hour orgasm, those were exaggerated details to supplement the unbelievable tone of the book. However, I have encountered the mention of a 48-hour orgasm on more than one occasion while reading other romance novels. In addition, the same applies to the elevator “internal damage.”
With respect to my mistake of repeating the characters’ names throughout the story, I didn’t really take notice of that until late in the publication process, when it was too late to correct it, and I do apologize in advance to the readers who may not like it. However, I am really glad that you brought that up because Summer Liaison is my first book, and I see this more as a learning experience for me. I really like it when people are honest and willing to point out mistakes so that I can learn from that and become a better writer. And, it is this aspect that makes a spectacular review, such as the one you have written for my novel. I am sure that there are other things that could have been different, and after re-reading my book, I have taken note of those things and I am positive that they will not be in the second part to Summer Liaison, which I am currently working on.
Overall, I feel that I have achieved my goal of writing an entertaining and funny story for people to read and enjoy, and I hope that everyone will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Again, I want to thank you for you wonderful and professional review.
Best wishes always,
Basem Darwish
www.basemdarwish.com
28 - Basem Darwish
In addressing others who may be overly critical of my book, I must say that I read the previous posts and I am not bothered so much as by the comments, but I am bothered by the perception taken to the book! Who said that Fiction was supposed to be taken seriously or that every book written is supposed to have a concrete, logic purpose to it? In all the comments I have read, it seems that everyone is looking for a lacking literary bases or legitimacy to the book. Moreover, the truth is that there was none intended. If I had wanted to write a book about how to “get” a woman or a legitimate sex manual, I would have written and published a non-fiction book that certainly wouldn’t be based on “spontaneous lactation.” or a “48-hout orgasm.” The purpose of the book was to be a funny, humorous romance novel that would be unbelievable and entertaining to the reader. I did not, in any instance in the book, provide an indication that this is the real picture of romance or that people should run out and do what the characters did in the book. However, my goal in creating a shocking novel was achieved as everyone who has posted cannot believe the outrageous scenes, such as the one in the elevator.
With respect to the book being self-published, that really is not an indicator of the quality of the book, contrary to popular belief. It turns out that self-publishing Summer Liaison was a personal decision because I had contacted several major publishing houses prior to self-publishing, and they all offered me contracts after reviewing my work. It was a matter of benefits that I could receive through self-publishing that were not available from the traditional publishing houses.
I can’t wait to read more of your comments.
Sincerely yours,
Basem Darwish
29 - Claus
"Who said that Fiction was supposed to be taken seriously or that every book written is supposed to have a concrete, logic purpose to it?"
Ahem - are you aiming at being unintentionally funny?
30 - Basem Darwish
Dear Claus,
Why would I be unintentionally funny? There really is nothing funny about my statement. I was just addressing the readers who felt that there was no purpose to my book, since it didn't follow the "protocol" of a traditional romance novel, with a complex plot involving several characters and many internal and external conflicts involving the characters.
Best regards,
Basem Darwish
31 - Phillip Winn
Basem, it seems clear from your comments that English is your second language, and not one on which you have the firmest of grasps. I definitely suggest that you stick to doctoring.
By the way, when writing something to be deliberately outrageous, it should be clear to all readers that you're being deliberately outrageous. Apparently this book reads as if someone is being outrageous unintentionally, a theory that is gaining credence in my mind as I read your comments.
After all, which is more likely? That you very cleverly -- with a mastery of the complexities of English -- are satirizing the romance genre, or that you really have no idea what it's like to romance a woman -- or write a book?
Given that you didn't notice things like overuse of direct address or severe punctuation problems, and that the book is self-published, I'm thinking that the latter is much more likely.
By the way, I'll clue you in on why Claus asked the question: When you claim that your defense against absurdity is that you were being deliberately absurd in your novel, there must remain a possibility that you're also being deliberately absurd -- or intentionally funny -- when you ask why every book should have a purpose. It's a very funny, absurd, even ridiculous statement to make, and that you don't see the joke, well, that lends even more support to theory number two.
Perhaps as a doctor, you'll one day meet a woman.
32 - Basem Darwish
Dear Phillip Winn,
First of all, I must say that English is indeed my first language. Personally, I have never had a problem writing with respect to manuscripts or essays. Throughout my education, English has been one of my strongest subjects. Furthermore, in my college education, I never sat through an English Class, be it comp or literature, as I tested out of all required and elective English courses. But I tell myself, why am I trying to convince you or anyone else? There is really no need to as there will always be readers who like my book, despite its punctuation flaws or what you think of it. And, as I said before, flaws are always good because you learn from them and try not make these mistakes again.
Furthermore, I believe that the problem lies not in what my situation is, regarding your comment of the “two situations”, but as you said, it is a matter of probability. In addition, it is an issue of inference and speculation. It seems like many readers, including yourself, are making assumptions that have no basis whatsoever. I mean, the main issue that you seem to be interested in is my personal sex life, which really has no connection to the book, and it is creepy, disgusting, and somewhat perverse that you even mention your opinion of “me romancing a woman” or that you even posted about a reflection on my sex life. In your comment, you mentioned that particular issue three times, which seems excessive and somewhat disturbing. My book is fiction, and the actions and situations in there may be fiction, but your comments are real. Instead of taking what is in the story and trying to “read between the lines” and see if the scenes in the book are a reflection of my sexual experience, you should be interested in figuring out the point of the book, which you still do not understand. This is because there is nothing to infer about me or why/how I wrote the book. I did not attempt to “satirize the romance genre”, as you stated. On the contrary, I love the romance genre. The sole purpose was to write a romance novel that had funny characters doing outrageously unbelievable things. And, if you couldn’t catch on that, then it shows you lack of interpretation of literature, despite who you may be or your literary experience. Not everything has to be obvious to the readers, as you said. Moreover, the readers should not be controlled by the author and they should not have the author make all the decisions and assumptions for them or tell them the point of the story. I am sure that my book is unique in its style and there is probably not another book that can shock and entertain readers in the same manner as my book has.
Finally, your defense of Claus’s statement is interesting to me because you have again shown your deep interpretation of fiction when there really is nothing to interpret from work that is fictional in nature. I have read thousands of romance novels with drastically different plots and settings. Each book has different characters in contrasting situations. I read one romance novel where the main character was the owner of a burlesque house. After reading that, I didn’t instantly think that the author of that book owned a burlesque house and that she did the things described in the book. The same situation goes for your comment. Just because I was “deliberately absurd” in a fictitious situation does not mean that this is how I am in the real world or that everything I would say would be deliberately absurd. Moreover, as you said in your final statement about your “theory”, everything you said is just that. Nothing more than a factless, baseless theory with only inferences and speculation to back it up.
33 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Mr. Darwish,
I haven't read your book. Truth be told, I haven't the money to buy it. I admire your successful efforts to market this book, but as a matter of strategy, I suggest to you that you not talk overmuch about it or the book you wrote. Just sell it and make money, and count your blessings in whatever currency you use.
The quieter you are, the more the reading public develops their own perception of you, one that is likely favorable. The more you speak outside of that persona of a novelist, the more you replace the readers' perceptions with reality .
There is a brilliant political scientist I know, who is his own worst enemy when he speaks on the radio. Reading what you say here reminds me very much of that political scientist.
34 - A.L. Harper
Basem
When I decided to write my own romance novel, I wanted to write a story that was both entertaining and outrageously funny.
Your "romance novel" wasn't entertaining or outrageously funny, it was very difficult to get past page three. The only reason I managed was that it's my job; I had to write a review. It was funny only because the thought that anyone could publish something so obviously lacking in serious forethought, research or even a basic understanding of written English, was truly absurd. It is true that I did laugh at the sex scenes but that was more at the thought of you coming up with them in some kind of wank induced delirium than because they were well written or cleverly staged. In other words I wasn’t laughing with you I was laughing at you.
The reason I DID NOT recommend your book is that it is truly the most appalling thing I have ever read.
In keeping with the outrageous tone of the book, I decided that the biggest influence on the story would be the sex scenes. Now, I completely agree with you that the sex scenes were unbelievable, and that was the effect I was trying to achieve. On more than one occasion in your review, you mentioned that these scenes were funny and that they made you laugh.
Again - laughing at you not with you. It wasn’t funny because you intended it to be but because it was so badly written. Even if you intended to write a satire of a badly written romance you did it very badly. It is nonsensical to the extreme, making it difficult to want to keep reading and on the whole very boring. The suggestion that you cleverly crafted a satire of romance is completely unbelievable because it is not in anyway clever or well crafted.
In my opinion, I don't think that the readers should live their intimate lives vicariously through my novel.
You obviously don’t understand what the word vicarious means or you don’t understand what romance novels are for.
Who said that Fiction was supposed to be taken seriously or that every book written is supposed to have a concrete, logic purpose to it?
The reason for writing a book that has a concrete and logical plot is so people can follow the story. You want to write something interesting enough to grab your readers attention and hold it. You want to create interesting and unusual characters that have enough depth to hold your audience, to make the reader WANT to know what happens next. The reader needs to care about the characters. Your characters are boring, one dimensional and vacuous. That doesn’t make for interesting reading. And badly written sex scenes don’t compensate for interesting plot or characters.
Overall, I feel that I have achieved my goal of writing an entertaining and funny story
No you didn’t. Don’t fool yourself.
you should be interested in figuring out the point of the book,
You said there wasn’t one, nor was there supposed to be one!(?)
Moreover, the readers should not be controlled by the author and they should not have the author make all the decisions and assumptions for them or tell them the point of the story.
Yes they should dear that’s why books have “plots” and “dialogue” and “narration” so that the reader thinks what the author wants them to think. And I believe this statement sums up just how bad this novel really is.
It turns out that self-publishing Summer Liaison was a personal decision because I had contacted several major publishing houses prior to self-publishing, and they all offered me contracts after reviewing my work.
Do you understand what “It turns out means”?
35 - Phillip Winn
Basem, since you obviously really don't understand my comment, my theory has changed.
I'm silly enough to think you might be able to become a good cardiologist, but the more you write here, the less confident I am even in that. Your comments don't sound like they come from a very well-reasoned position, but I'll assume you're in a hurry or something, and I won't waste your time any further.
36 - Rebecca
My purpose in writing this is not to offend the author, but rather to comment on the reviewer has written. The contents of this book seem to make the case that Jackie Collins and Danielle Steele might have a real shot at the Nobel Prize someday.
37 - A.L. Harper
God what a thought!
38 - Scott Butki
What an interesting dialogue.
A.L., I thought of you today as I read this column by Katha Pollitt about how a bad review helped her Amazon sales.
For some reason it sounded very familiar.
39 - A.L. Harper
Thanks Scott. Interesting Article!
40 - cat
I assume the author requested a review from BC for publicity purposes--clarification for Mr. Darwish: TO (hopefully) INCREASE THIS NOVELS SALES NUMBERS. Based on Ms. Harper's wickedly entertaining review--most likely, the only high quality writing that will ever be associated with Summer Liason--I have no intention of wasting my money.
41 - cat
*novel's
ARGH!!! I hate it when I make grammatical or punctuation errors.
42 - A.L. Harper
Oh! Why thank you Cat.
43 - Marche
I'm picking the book up tommorrow!
Thanks for the heads-up!
...just kidding i hate crap like this.
Thanks for the review.