Have you ever had one of those nothing-to-do days? You’ve finished cleaning the house, the kids are at school/out playing with friends, your partner is away working/having an affair/out with friends, leaving you alone and bored. So you look for something to keep you occupied, something to stimulate you. Well, Basem Darwish thinks he has the answer. Summer Liaison is a romance novel with a difference. Unfortunately that difference is he has no literary talent. None at all. Not even a little. Not a sausage. My 12-year-old could have written a more interesting and coherent romance novel than this man.
This is a porno movie with less plot and even more unbelievable sex - unbelievably boring. I wouldn’t be surprised if porno movies are where he got all his ideas. Every two pages there is an extremely graphic sex scene, which I am not against, as long as it’s good sex. But this isn’t. It’s TERRIBLE! I couldn’t read some of it through the tears of laughter blurring my vision.
These sex scenes run the gamut from on a rock under a waterfall to – I can’t believe I’m going to type this – spontaneous lactation. I seriously doubt there is such a thing. (Whoever told this man that a woman would find it tender and beautiful to spontaneously lactate and breastfeed her man and then to have hot milky sex with him – I think most women will agree – was wrong! EUGH!)
Only about 50 of the 178 pages are dedicated to the plot, so it’s very patchy, but it goes something like this. Rickey “Hot Billionaire” Johnson is married to Jennifer “Body-No-Man-Can-Resist” St. James. They meet when she takes over the job of VP at his bank, sparks fly, or that is what we are told as they are already married when we meet them.
Rickey and Jennifer fly to Fiji on their honeymoon, only to meet Rickey’s ex-girlfriend, for whom he's still carrying a torch. Pamela “damningly gorgeous” (not my words, I assure you) Netter has been pining for Rickey since they split acrimoniously just out of high school. With nothing else to do with her life, without him to give her life meaning (I swear to god this man has never even met a woman!), she has built a hotel empire – hey, when you spend this much time on your back you want a nice place to do it in – and is now a billionaire.