Book Review: She Comes First

"You don't fall in LOVE with Mr. Pussy. You use his services and then set him free."
         --Samantha, Sex and the City

Guys, do you ever worry that your woman is faking it, even just once in a while? I mean, didn't the diner scene in When Harry Met Sally plant the seed of doubt in all men's minds? Oh, okay, I'm sure you don't have to worry about that, but maybe you have "a friend" who sometimes worries about it? Well, then I have the book for you — er, I mean your friend. Tell your buddy to follow the advice in this book and he'll never again have to worry that his partner is groaning from ennui instead moaning with pleasure.

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman is the just about a perfect book, primarily because it's all about me, me, me. Who doesn't want to read a sex manual that advocates putting her own pleasure first every single time? The book's central thesis is that men should turn something we tend to think of as foreplay, oral sex, into "coreplay," or "complete, fully realized acts of lovemaking," before intercourse.

Ian Kerner, a Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology, first became a veritable Mr. Pussy, or "cunnilinguist," as he calls it, as a result of suffering from premature ejaculation. Kerner learned to orally pleasure his partners because he couldn't have intercourse with them. Over time, he developed not only an extensive tongue-lashing repertoire, but also a better understanding of how the female anatomy and sexual response work.

He concluded that "cunnilingus is more than just a sexual activity, but rather the centerpiece of a philosophy of sexual contentment" for women. So, in She Comes First, Kerner proposes that men learn how to give good head and focus on bringing their partners to climax orally before having intercourse. In other words, you go down and she comes first. Every time.

Is it too late to nominate Kerner for some sort of Nobel prize?

Guys, I know. It just sounds like so much work. [Actually, I don't know because I'm too busy lying on my back with my hands in the air like I just don't care. Uh huh, uh huh.] But Kerner insists that postponing intercourse — and male gratification — leads to better sex for both of you. First, your partner gets a guaranteed orgasm during every sexual encounter [and you get assurances that she's not faking it], and second, your climax will be more intense because you have deferred it while giving intense pleasure to someone else, which increases your arousal.

In other words, it's a win-win philosophy. What's not to like?

Article Author: bhw

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