So when you think about how to keep satisfying sex and closeness in your relationship, consider my favorite zingers in this book.
• "… anger may corrode a couple's intimate connection faster than acid." (Page 14)
• …you need openness in a relationship not only for a solid foundation as a couple, but also if you want your sex life to stay electric." (Page 57)
• "One of the first things to disappear in a troubled relationship is politeness. As laughter and validation disappear, nitpicking and pain tend to surface… nothing will squash romance faster than the ego blows that result from continual criticism." (Page 167)
• "Essentially, the desire for feeling affection with one's partner during sex goes back to the need for love trust and love within the relationship… if outside the bedroom demonstrations of affection are in full swing, correspondingly a couple's sex life is more likely to be full as well." (Page 191)
• "… a major feature in relationships suffering from a lack of intimacy is not a discernible lack of attraction between the partners but more likely a deficiency in their communication skills." (Page 202)
Excitement and newness combined with a good attraction to each other leads to good sex in the beginning. But as a relationship continues, it is the growth and development of a good relationship that keeps good sex alive and satisfying between partners. Conversely, good sex is always respectful of the need for nurturing a good relationship.
Emotional and sexual closeness are mutual reinforcers. Couples who respect this linkage will keep a relationship in which emotional and physical/sexual connection are solidly satisfying. While sex may not always come first, as the authors suggest, for many couples, sex is a necessary part of a fulfilling marriage or committed relationship equation — alongside emotional intimacy.
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