With consideration for the above cautions, possibly low-risk exercises might include: The Quickie, Tech Sex, Sexual Grab Bag, and the Sexual Fears discussion. As with any self-help effort, couples must decide on the risk level of participation for them and choose to act accordingly.
In my two fave chapters, Chapter 1, Anger Gets in the Way, and Chapter 2, We Have Trust Issues, authors Block and Neumann explain clearly how mismanaged anger and trust subtly, but surely, erode the intimate connection over time. I frequently witness that loss of closeness between couples who, although still in love and motivated, struggle to reconnect emotionally and sexually.
In Chapter 4, the authors present key concepts for preserving the intimacy connection: openness, agreement, understanding, judgment, and approval. They explain how these concepts can work for couples to remain equal partners and lovers, and avoid developing a parental/child relationship, where one may feel like the parent, while the other begins to feel like the child. This type of imbalanced relationship is a real sexual attraction killer.
Gender socialization directed at how boys and girls express emotions can also create roadblocks to good communication and good connection. The authors recommend that to shrink the gender communication gap, men need to reveal more frequently how they feel about a situation and women need to be more succinct in their emotional expressiveness and both must move on together toward what can be done to solve the issue.
The authors acknowledge that most committed partners want sex in their relationships, but sexual preferences vary and difficulties can occur as a result.
"So here's the thing — when it comes to sex, of course everyone has their own personal preference. Some like it hard, some soft, some romantic, some violent, some frequent, some only on special occasions, some... well, you get the picture. And these preferences may not only change from year to year but quite possibly from day to day and even minute to minute. So expecting your partner to want sex your way all the time is not only unrealistic, it's sheer fantasy! Sex is about compromise. Well, at least a mutually satisfying sex life is."Compromise is an important relationship skill and couples can learn to practice it in the bedroom as well as in all routine every day life areas.
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