Scrumptious Toppers for Tots & Toddlers by Debby Ware is a collection of 30 patterns for knit hats for kids. I’ve got to say, these patterns are over-the-top ridiculous. Maybe it is because I don’t have kids, but I just don’t believe in dressing little kids in obnoxious outfits. Just because your child cannot speak up doesn’t automatically mean she consents to being dressed in hats adorned with flowers bigger than her head. Your baby already relies on you to wipe his ass – don’t humiliate him further.
Ware’s patterns range from just-this-side-of-cloyingly-adorable to out-and-out insanity. Riots of colors, mish-mashes of patterns, and a smattering of bobbles and trim all fight for attention. When your kid grows up and sees pictures of himself in one of these hats, he will hate you for it. I can see only two ways you could get away with putting these hats on your kids. One would be on Halloween, because anything goes on Halloween. The other would be if your kid could wear the hat ironically. But if your toddler understood irony, this would be an entirely different conversation.
Let’s take a look at some of these patterns – maybe one will fit your needs. The “Glitter and Glow Beanie” has a sprout of metallic novelty yarn on top, tied with a big ribbon. “Birthday Cupcake Cap” is almost-adorable: it looks like a cupcake, complete with candle, but sadly it is more of a vague resemblance. “Baby Beastie Beanie” is actually-adorable: a different take on the popular bunny/kitty ear hats, this one features pointy ears that stick up rather than out. “Newborn Beanie” features two main colors, a handful of accent colors to add bobbles, and a swirly crown. “The Greenie Beanie” ties at the top, forming what is almost a “paper bag” effect. I had to actually read the pattern description before I realized the ties on top were supposed to be flowers.