There are a couple of delightfully unexpected plot twists. One is a romance angle involving the terrorists. The romance is not explored deeply, but it does later directly cause martyrdom on the part of the terrorists. Another involves the brother of one of the terrorists.
At the end of Chapter 13, the first big clue falls into place. The target is Fleet Week, with a possible visit by the president of the United States.
Chapter 31 reveals the cargo the terrorists have been waiting for, and which the story itself has thus far danced around, like a caffeinated Irish jigster.
When explosions finally hit, Clackson's sparse language is like that of an old time telegraph. "People were blown apart before they could react." STOP. "The stadium disintegrated into pandemonium." STOP. "Body parts lay everywhere." STOP.
Absent is much human emotion. We're supposed to be swept away by the sheer scale and audacity of the attack.
There are a couple of weird shifts in time, such as after the repeated descriptions of death that have told readers that the end of the world is nigh. Officers are suddenly receiving medals for their bravery at the same time 24-hour news cycles of the events are still taking place. A medal it seems, in these days of chaos, could wait a few long months.
I'm also not sure all the damage described would be possible - with the munitions mentioned - of "explosions rippled through the downtown core" and "the city around them had become an inferno" and "Buildings and portions of buildings crashed to the ground. Power poles looked like giant matches. ... "
We're talking grenades.
As mentioned, there exists what comes across as slightly gleeful description of various ways bodies can be destroyed. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a contrast to what I'm assuming are the strong empathetic feelings we are supposed to have.
Then, after the painful paragraphs describing horrific injuries, charred skin and death, Clackson writes that "the attack failed." It certainly didn't read that way.
The government was quick to point out that the attack had failed because the system worked. Grudgingly, the people of San Diego agreed — at least it had worked this time.
The sheer number of people involved, in one fell swoop, IS enough to take your breath away. And the weapons here could quite easily have caused the large-scale devastation: The detonations and resulting firestorm swept across the deck, consuming oxygen and incinerating the thousands of navy personnel aboard her.
Article comments
1 - Steve Clackson
Temple I would like to thank you for undertaking a review of my unpublished manuscript. It is unique to say the least that an editor would spend their precious time to review a novel from an unknown writer. You have my deepest gratitude, Steve
2 - Temple Stark
It's an opportunity to see a book before publication. I tried not to give much of the plot away. ...
I'm also going to run this in my newspaper and it will likely get picked up by a couple others in the (small) chain.
Cheers. Temple
3 - Temple Stark
Hmm, I'm "some blogger" as described by "some TV writer" who's ripped off the main characters of the Monk series to make money writing Monk novels. (A series by the way which has fallen into a caricature of itself. Still good, but a lot more "well, that's just dumb" uttered by me. IOW, the writing is going downhill)
As the linked post above attests - or also likely the guy was just having a bad day? - but he appears to be quite the arrogant SOB.
If he wanted to give good advice publicly how about give good advice? You'd think he'd be too busy to trifle with all that is beneath him, non?