Book Review: One Door Away From Heaven by Dean Koontz

A quintet known as The Coasters once recorded a song (I believe Joe Tex wrote it) called "Along Came Jones." It was mildly successful.

"Along Came Jones" is comedic. The lyrics poke fun at melodramatic, silent, Western movie serials of the "if-you-don't-gimme-the-deed-to-yo-ranch" sort — the kind that featured smirking villains in the mold of Snidely Whiplash and heroines named Nell. The plots were always the same: in order to extort from Nell the deed to her ranch, Snidely tied Nell to the railroad tracks in front of a train, or he tied her to a saw log and sent her down the conveyor into the sawmill, or he strapped her to a wagon-load of dynamite, or ... something. It made no matter because regardless of what Snidely did, he never got his hands on the deed. He was always thwarted when the hero, "Jones," "came along" in the nick of time. Thus the gal was always saved and the bad man was always punished.

They haven't made films like that for a very long time, the reason being that today's film audience is too jaded. These days, children above the age of four or five get bored with such stuff.

I have a nephew, 45 years old. He is an adamant Dean Koontz fan. A couple of people I used to work with were crazy for Dean Koontz novels. For a while there it seemed every time I turned around, somebody shoved a Dean Koontz novel in my face: "Here, man! You gotta read this!" Too bad I was always reading something else.

So it was years before I learned to appreciate Dean Koontz. My awakening finally came when I read One Door Away From Heaven (New York: Bantam; 2001).

I wasn’t more than six or eight chapters into the book when I picked up on the style of it. One chapter ends with the protagonist in a jam; the next chapter ends when that situation is resolved. Often the resolutions are violent. When the author’s focus shifts to another character, the chapter/action sequence repeats. It seems Dean Koontz fans find that narrative style and pace exciting. For me, One Door Away From Heaven was just "Along Came Jones" with different lyrics.

The chapters average eight pages each. After 100 or 200 pages of those fast-paced, melodramatic ups and downs, I began to get seasick. When I realized there were 400 pages left, I put down the book for a few minutes and drove to Walgreens, where I bought Dramamine. At the 7-11 across the street, I scored a pound of jack cheese, a box of Ritz crackers, a gallon of Dago red, and a six-pack of lemon-lime soda.

Article Author: Deacon "Deke" Solomon

Deacon Solomon grew up on a farm, did 4 years in the Marines, worked as a truck driver, a mechanic, a computer technician. He then went to college and graduate school and put his MA to work as a technical writer in the manufacture of heavy machinery.
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