But what do you do for women who want to understand men? You buy ‘em Men, Love & Sex: The Complete User’s Guide for Women by David Zinczenko with Ted Spiker, of course! Zinczenko is the editor of Men’s Health, a magazine devoted to helping guys understand all there is to know about being a guy, and how to get the best out of that Y chromosome that makes us so alien to the female of the species. He’s written op-ed pieces and articles for several metropolitan newspapers and USA Today. And People magazine listed him as one of the 50 Most Eligible Bachelors. This is obviously a man who knows men. Ted Spiker is a contributing editor at Men’s Health and an assistant professor of journalism at the University of Florida.
So why are they spilling their guts to women?
Because, as Zinczenko mentions on several occasions throughout his book, men tend to be sedentary and won’t bring change in their lives unless they have to. Therefore, it’s up to the women to bring about the change in a man that he needs but doesn’t know how to reach for or is too frightened about to do. Yep, you read that right. Men get frightened about relationships. That’s another point Zinczenko makes in his book.
When it comes down to it, Zinczenko says, men and women really want the same things out of life. It’s just that too many people (on both sides of the gender line) don’t know that. They tend to accept that they’re just “different”.
Men, Zinczenko contends – and rightly so from where I’m seated - can’t fathom their own feelings about things. And then, even those few that are blessed enough to truly know, lack the words to say it to anyone else. Even among themselves. Part of being male is being a guy who has no weaknesses. We’ve all got to be tough guys. Which means that we’re not going to tell even each other when things aren’t going so well for us health-wise, financially, or in relationships that we really care about.
Article comments
1 - Katie McNeill
I will have to pick this one up. I think sometimes I'm more clueless than most. :) The review is fantastic, Mel!
2 - Mohjho
"vagaries of the human heart"
That is such a cool term. Had to look up, but it just rolls of the tongue nicely..don't you think?
3 - Mel
Thanks. I love words. Always try to pick up new ones myself.