Ah, the vagaries of the human heart. When I talk about love and what it means, I get all kinds of responses. Many women cut loose with Oprah-speak, Dr. Phil-speak, and Dr. Laura-speak, or whatever pop psychology that is currently being turned out into the world. I talk to men about it, and most of them don’t want to talk about it at all, or immediately tie it to the present sexual climate they have in their relationships.
Poets have written volumes on it. Wars have been fought because of it. And divorce lawyers have made mints, not to mention the latest dating/sex gurus that are on tour.
So what is it about men and women that we can’t speak our minds? Women I know tell me that it must be great to be married to me. They tell my wife that as well. I’m a writer by trade, so I speak my mind. But I don’t think that’s why I’m as communicative as I am. I see myself as a student of the world. I’m constantly learning, and no matter how hard I try, I’m not going to be able to understand it all. But I put forth the effort because I have to, because that’s the way I am. I have ADHD, and explaining what I think I understand to other people – the sheer act of putting it into words – helps me understand things a little better.
My wife agrees with some of the women who have told her that they enjoy the way I’m in touch with my feelings, but she also points out that as communicative as I am, I still don’t always listen and it’s usually my socks that are found lying around the bedroom. Also, I suffer from the male blindness syndrome of not being able to find my keys, my wallet, or a favorite shirt when I’m trying to head out. I’m more communicative, but at the end of the day, I’m still limited, still male. She’s okay with that, though, and it’s part of what makes me attractive to her. Frankly, it’s my guyness that makes me look on her with love and desire. Even without the physical relationship, though, we’d still be good friends. I’m really glad everything has worked out the way it has.
Article comments
1 - Katie McNeill
I will have to pick this one up. I think sometimes I'm more clueless than most. :) The review is fantastic, Mel!
2 - Mohjho
"vagaries of the human heart"
That is such a cool term. Had to look up, but it just rolls of the tongue nicely..don't you think?
3 - Mel
Thanks. I love words. Always try to pick up new ones myself.