When I say a book is twisted, demented, and weird, I am recommending it highly (to people who enjoy weird, twisted, and demented). Little Billy's Letters – An Incorrigible Inner Child’s Correspondence with the Famous, Infamous, and Just Plain Bewildered is all of those things and more. It’s been a long time since Billy was little, but his letters are relatively recent.
The letters are requests for advice from various well-known people, religions, and corporations. Billy explains why he is writing, that he is around eight-years-old (in third grade), and would like input from his victims. “Victims” because the people to whom he writes are unaware that the letters are actually from a grown man with too much time on his hands. What would you call that? Oh, yeah. A prankster.
I should be angry at author Bill Geerhart for Little Billy's Letters; I’ve stayed up far too late, unable to put it down. The letters from Billy look like they were written by a child. Geerhart not only has the penmanship down pat, but also the likely grammatical, spelling, and social errors that a child would make. He even used that paper on which we all learned to write (the book’s pages feel like that paper!).
The advisors he consulted range from Colin Powell to Dave Thomas to Charles Manson and friends. He wrote to Anheuser-Busch, asking if they offered a children’s version of beer; and Larry Flynt, inquiring about a kids’ Hustler. Larry Flynt told him to wait until he’s 18 to read Hustler, in the meantime he should stick to the Sears & Roebuck catalog (how many children are familiar with the “Roebuck” part?). An Anheuser-Busch representative turned state’s evidence, and forwarded his letters to his parents along with literature on keeping your kids and booze separate.
Some of the responses to his inquiries are long, thoughtful letters from someone who is interested in providing information or advice (Mr. Rogers, Susan Atkins-Whitehouse, Robert Shapiro in a particularly droll missive), others who didn’t bother to read what he wrote (Ian Zerling, George W. Bush, Rosie O’Donnell), and still others who are just out there (Charles Manson).
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