There’s also an irritating habit of the characters always using each other’s names during conversation, which makes for a rough reading experience because people don’t really talk like that.
Finally, I believe if an author is going to include erotica within their story, they need to not be shy about it, and using a term like “personal area" removes any possible heat that could be created by the scene because it appears the author is uncertain with how to proceed from there.
There are plenty of books on the market with examples of how to handle erotic scenes without getting vulgar or graphic, and these parts of the story could’ve been made better.
With a smoother style of writing, and the addition of suspense and tension, I Can’t Breathe by R.L. Mankin could be a good vampire story but it’s just not there at the moment.
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