Book Review: Hollywood Animal by Joe Eszterhas

Eszterhas is the big-name Hollywood screenwriter who wrote films like Basic Instinct, Jagged Edge, Jade, Showgirls and Flashdance, among many others.

He's notorious for his bullish temperament, personally colourful life, and his huge earnings. Said to be the highest paid screenwriter in Hollywood, I thought his life would be an interesting insight into the workings of the movie biz. What I didn't expect was a book that was more exciting and thrilling to read than any of Eszterhas's films!

Hollywood Animal more than lives up to its name.

It's the biography of a man who lived (and by all accounts, still lives) a larger-than-life life in the world's most sadistic, masochistic, brutal creative enclave. Well, technically, he doesn't live in Hollywood, he only works there, but you get my point: The book exposes more sordid stories of drugs, sex, money-grabbing deals, and other shenanigans in Hollywood than any dozen biographies of movie stars or directors.

Eszterhas grabs his life story, as well as the story of the hundreds of big-name directors, producers, stars, studio heads, agents, and other people he interacted with over a thirty-year career, and throws it at you in small bite-sized portions, short paragraphs set off by white space, like little sound-bites.

The shocks keep coming at you so fast you just can't put the book down. I started to read a page or two and ended up with half the book done, at 3 in the morning, and I still had to force myself to put it down.

I won't spell out any of the incidents and anecdotes mentioned in the book, there are just too many to even count, but let me tell you, if you want a book that shows you Hollywood with no holds barred, this is the one.

Be warned: it's very explicit in its language, contents, details. Which is partly why it's hugely fun to read. Probably the best 'Hollywood Insiders' story I've read since Julia Phillips' You'll Never Eat Lunch and William Goldman's Adventures In The Screen Trade.

In the end, though, it's a tragic, heartbreaking book. Because it bares the ugliest part of the American dream... or should I say, American nightmare? It left me puzzling, why would anyone want to work in such a terrible place? For the money? Surely no amount of money is worth such humiliation? As a sometime screenwriter myself, I thought the Indian film industry was pretty awful. I know better now. If Eszterhas's experience (and the experiences of other screenwriters, directors, actors, producers, etc) I've read about in books like this one are any indication, then I wouldn't work in the movie biz no matter how much it paid.

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  • Hollywood Animal: A Memoir Hollywood Animal: A Memoir

    He spent his earliest years in post WWII–refugee camps. He came to America and grew up in Cleveland—stealing cars, rolling drunks, battling priests, nearly going to jail. He became the screenwriter of ...

  • Basic Instinct Basic Instinct
  • Jade Jade
  • Showgirls Showgirls
  • Music Box Music Box

Article comments

  • 1 - Victor Lana

    Sep 22, 2005 at 7:00 am

    Ashok,

    Nice post! I think Eszterhas's work is a guilty pleasure at best. I was watching BASIC INSTINCT on cable the other night: couldn't take my eyes off Sharon Stone, of course. But the thing is no one in that movie (except that fat guy that gets whacked) is worth rooting for.

    In the end, I didn't care if Stone shoved an icepick into Michael Douglas or not. Many of E's films feature the same unlikeable characters. Still, they are compelling enough to watch. THAT is the Hollywood where you don't want to eat lunch, but at least you can have a martini!

    Cheers!

  • 2 - Ashok K. Banker

    Sep 22, 2005 at 7:07 am

    That's a pretty accurate description of this book as well - a guilty pleasure. And like his characters, he comes across as a guy you don't really care that much about too. On the other hand, that also means he's a damn honest writer, so...

    Make mine a tomato juice, shaken, not stirred!

  • 3 - DrPat

    Sep 22, 2005 at 9:45 am

    Ashok, I just asked my spouse to read your post, to understand why I watch my copy of Showgirls every so often...

    It's not Gina Gershon nearly nude, I swear!

  • 4 - Victor Lana

    Sep 22, 2005 at 10:37 am

    Dr. Pat,

    Still amazed how good that "bad" film can be. Guilty pleasure all the way.

  • 5 - Ashok K. Banker

    Sep 22, 2005 at 11:05 am

    >It's not Gina Gershon nearly nude, I swear!

    How boring can you get? I mean, come on. Really? Why would any man want to watch Gina Gershon nearly nude...or Elizabeth Berkley? Unless, of course, it's 'research' for Turkeys Worth Watching Again...and Again...and Again...and...

    Ahem. I won't show _my_ spouse this post now!

  • 6 - alethinos59

    Sep 22, 2005 at 1:56 pm

    As a scriptwriter with two scripts in front of 3 A-List actors as I write this I can tell you that the Biz is ugly...

    But that isn't why most of us write...

    It is hell trying to get something sold. It is more hell trying to be able to have some control over what happens after that... It is hell if the critics aren't thrilled with it... It is a BIT easier to write and sell the next piece...

    But you're doing it because you LOVE movies... That's what drives you.

    There are evil nasty bastards in every business...

    As far as Joe E goes... I read the book. The man is repulsive at best. To be honest I was never impressed with any of his work. There are far better writers out there...

    He reminds me of a certain kind of male, which might as hell have a banner over his head:

    HI! I AM AN UGLY SONOFABITCH INSIDE BUT YOU'RE GONNA TAKE ME LIKE I AM CUZ I DON'T CHANGE FOR NOBODY.

    Of course any good writer could edit that down to one word:

    prick.

    There are a lot of great writers out here... Hollywood would be a lot better off if more of THEIR work ended up on the screen.

    Alethinos

  • 7 - DrPat

    Sep 22, 2005 at 5:28 pm

    "Why would any man want to watch Gina Gershon nearly nude...?"

    For the same reason we always used to give for reading Playboy: for the story, of course. Character development. Interaction of lost souls in the desert.

    [fingers crossed behind back...]

  • 8 - Ashok K. Banker

    Sep 22, 2005 at 11:34 pm

    >But you're doing it because you LOVE movies... >That's what drives you.

    I used to talk myself into it with the same argument, but then I realized, I loved movies, yes, but I don't love making them, and the crap that goes into making them. So now I enjoy watching movies--and I really enjoy them much more now that I'm not writing any scripts--and leave the crap to other people.

    From what I've seen and heard, though, most people in the movie biz have only a vague fuzzy recollection of their early love for movies (they even refer to movies from their childhood or youth) and have grown so distant from the current scene that all they can think about is grosses and points and meetings and power games.

    I'll stick to watching them, thank you! The movies and the movie makers.

  • 9 - Temple Stark

    Sep 25, 2005 at 10:36 pm

    Books Editor Pat picked this his pick of the week. Go HERE to find out why. and thank you very much.

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