Andrea Syrtash’s book, He’s Just Not Your Type, is a positive approach to dating that will help you feel more confident about your dating life. There are two very important points she drives home to her readers.
1) If you feel unsuccessful about finding mister right at this point in your life, that means you have successfully avoided settling down with mister wrong to become just another divorce statistic. This is a positive!
2) But, if you feel negative toward dating, it is time to take positive steps toward your own acceptance behavior, with men whom you may not consider your exact type.
He’s Just Not Your Type provides exercises that can help you generate a realistic outlook on your world as a whole. Of primary importance is eliminating the words “should” and “can’t” from your spoken language, but even more important, from your MENTAL vocabulary. These two words she calls “gremlins.” He’s Just Not Your Type would have you use cognitive therapy on a regular basis to change negative thinking.
To do this, you write down a list of negatives that you regularly say to yourself and to others. Next, you write down positive rebukes for each negative.
Negative Thoughts and Feelings
• “I should be a better conversationalist.”
• “I can’t go on a blind date,”
• “I can’t just leave this poor man.”
• “I will be a better conversationalist by reading the editorial page of my daily newspaper so I’m informed about fascinating topics to discuss with my date.”
• “I will go on a blind date because every date is somewhat blind. I want to learn more about different kinds of men because it will help me understand them.”
• “I will end my current relationship by telling him it is time for me to move on because although he’s nice person, I’m not ready for a permanent or serious relationship.”
He’s Just Not Your Type reveals that all too often, the women she counsels toward dating success have an idealized image of some perfect male they are seeking. Sure, they may have dated such a man, only to find disappointment and sadness when one or the other party terminates the relationship.