I confess that for some reason I enjoy memoirs about other people's horrible childhoods. Her Last Death is one of these. It chronicles the ghastly experiences of two little girls left to the mercy of a monstrous mother after the departure of their father.
Susanna's mother makes Mommy Dearest look like Mother Teresa, and then some. This coke-addled lady was an expert at tormenting her two daughters by alternately lavishing and withholding affection and playing them against each other. She was not sparing with abuse either, including physical abuse. She intruded on their boundaries, urging them to engage in sex when they were young teenagers. She spoke to her children about her own and their sexual activities in a way no parent should.
Oh, and did I mention that she gave her kids drugs?
The worst of it was the mother's unpredictability. If a parent is always cold and remote, a child learns to expect nothing from her. But these children were captivated when their mother behaved in a loving manner, smothering them in hugs and kisses, only to be crushed and disappointed time and again, when, for a trivial reason or no reason at all, her warmth turned to anger.
Sonnenberg, despite being a child of privilege who attended the best schools, received no guidance. Her father was distant, and at least one of her teachers seduced her. The fact that she was a willing accomplice in the seduction does not excuse the teacher. He betrayed his position of trust to this young woman who was too immature and too needy to realize the consequences of her actions.
Reading this book is like driving by a traffic accident. It seems almost indecent to share in such intimate things, yet your attention is irresistibly drawn to Sonnenberg's story.
The mother's fate is left a mystery. Sonnenberg, with the support of a loving husband, decides to rescue herself by breaking any ties with her. Though she is told that her mother is dying, she refuses to be drawn in, out of self-preservation. One could hardly blame her as she struggles to make the decision not to have any relationship with her mother, thus saving her own life, happiness, and sanity.
The mother has been used to manipulating the children by telling them she is dying. Thus the title refers, ironically, not to the death of her mother, but to the death of the relationship.
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