Jerry B. Jenkins, co-author of the Left Behind series of books, provides valuable advice that many men need to hear in Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough To Protect It. First published in 1989 as Hedges, then in 2000 as Loving Your Marriage Enough To Protect It, this revision and expansion (the book now includes a Study Guide as well as a DVD) was perhaps inevitable given the runaway popularity of Jenkins’s other books.
Much of the advice in this book is nothing new to me, having listened to Dr. Laura for years. Like Dr. Laura, Jenkins is very big on appearances and avoiding situations that could easily lead to temptation. Jenkins refers to these as “hedges:” easy-to-remember and practical rules that can forestall temptation and give you an easy escape route if temptation rears its head. These common-sense rules include never being alone with a woman besides your wife, never flirting with other women (or stopping the instant you realize that’s what you’re doing), and paying only the mildest of compliments to women besides your wife. In case anyone doubts that these hedges are needed, he offers plenty of examples of marriages of people he has known, ruined by ignoring the lines these hedges are designed to protect. As befits a Christian writer, he also provides a biblical basis for much of the advice. Especially fitting is his explanation of 2 Timothy 2:22,
“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
This forms the basis for his notion of “hedges” against temptation. I admit that I was amused when I first read it, but it makes sense and I’m not theologically equipped to second-guess it:
“We are to run. To flee. To get out. To get away. Why? […] In other areas, God grants us victory. We can win over jealousy, a bad temper, greed, and even pride. […] Clearly there are times when we are stronger than at other times. So what are we to do when temptation rages? If we are weak and have not taken precautions, we have already failed. The only answer is to plan, to anticipate danger, to plot the escape. The time to plant hedges is before the enemy attacks.”
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