A couple of years ago I wrote a major piece on middle school bullying for Brain, Child magazine; a piece that I understand was used by a number of psychologists in dealing with the rising tide of girl-on-girl bullying. In the article, I talked a lot about the legacy of meanness, how it can easily be passed down from mother to child: sometimes a woman who was bullied as a girl will teach her daughter to be the one who bullies; just as often, a girl who was the mean girl will feel guilty for being so and may make her daughter more passive than is good for her.
I cited some groundbreaking books on the subject including the now six-year-old Queen Bees and Wannabees. I also talked about the then new book called Mean Girls Grown Up and about bad parental behavior in general that was no help to young girls going through puberty and trying to figure things out for themselves. And I revealed in public for the first time the agony of being bullied as a seventh grader. Had I had even a smidgen of the resources that girls and their mothers do today, perhaps I might have saved myself some pain. At the least, I would not have been so reluctant to speak about the issue for nearly 40 years.
But, of course, even with all the literature, the problem continues.
A new book, Girls Against Girls, is another in the line up, but this one, so easy to read and accessible, even to very young girls, breaks down the issues and the solutions in a way that might just get through to both the bullied and the bullies. At the least, it should help those going through bullying find the tools to empower (I know, I hate that word, too, but it fits here) themselves to break out of what can be an extraordinarily painful time.
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