My interest in meditation goes back decades. I casually dabble in the process. But I suppose, like many people I have been unaware of the broad range of approaches out there. In their new book, Be the Change - How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, Ed and Deb Schapiro wanted to reflect the diversity of viewpoints. Toward that goal, they included the thoughts of more than 100 meditation practitioners from a variety of life settings. As teachers and experts on meditation, the Schapiro's add to their knowledge and present an anecdotal look at the varied experiences of other experts through anecdotal quotes in their voices on meditation.
What is an accepted definition of meditation? In the book's foreword written by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, he describes meditation as "an important instrument for shaping or transforming our minds" and indicates that there are two types of meditation, analytical) and single pointed (involving resting the mind on that point). Throughout the book, readers will experience a diversity of thinking on the complexly simple practice of meditation.
In my universe as a mental health practitioner, I often recommend meditation to my clients. I consider meditation as both a parallel and an overlapping process with therapy. For example, my traditional starting point with clients is to suggest that if they focus on themselves and change the way they think about people and external events, they will create personal change, which will be expressed through their altered feelings and behaviors. However, I add the caution not to expect to control the direction of the changes outside of themselves. That is, others will respond differently, but not necessarily more favorably to them.
My special focus is with marriages and families. From the beginning when addressing parents' difficulties with their children, I typically inquire of those 'discipline determined' moms and dads as to whether they expect their 'difficult' teenagers to change, without them making adjustments in their approach. Parents, who want therapy to "fix" their child without any personal change on their part often do not return.
And although the strongest path to marriage enrichment and healing is with both partners active in therapy, frequently only one partner is willing or available to attend. I focus on the person in the room becoming who they want to be in the life they want to have. Both they and their partner will decide individually whether to share that vision. I work with clients to shift their focus from what is wrong, to how they envision their best life to be with the changes they are prepared to make.
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