When my mother passed away, a friend gave me an important piece of advice. She told me that loss is like a camera. Initially it zooms in, focusing on the details, but over time the camera pulls back and then you remember your many times together. You move on, the hole is always there, but that person is always there too.
How has the Lupus changed your life for the better?
I write about this in Unexpected Blessings. Throughout life, challenges and gifts come to us. In the beginning we think, “Why me?” Life throws you these curve balls. Illness taught me what matters. Sure Gucci handbags are nice, but they’re not what matters in life. Instead it’s the people you meet along the way. Through our hardships we see beauty and learn where our values should lie. One time I was in the hospital. Every day I had a cleaning lady who would sing Amazing Grace, and say a prayer for me. That helped me get through that hospital stay. Health and friends, laughter, this is as good as it gets
Do you feel that you’ve lived up to the expectation of helping others?
Initially there are expectations. I think that my expectation is when you do your personal best, that’s what matters. You can’t worry what people think. You have to go with your heart. If you’re happy with it, that‘s all that matters.
I made a conscious choice growing Friends' Health Connection, because it gave me a purpose and was rewarding. If I have a vision, I always have to go for it and try my best. I try to make my vision a reality. They told me I might be very ill for the rest of my life, but I never let doctors’ negativity influence me. I always thought I would be fine. I really believe I was meant to get sick so that I could help others.
If you could do anything over again, what would it be?
It’s hard to live with any kind of regret. We have to accept that we’re constantly changing and growing. Then later in life we understand people differently. I write about my father in my book. He had an OCD condition, and as a child, I didn’t understand this. As we age, we recognize that people need compassion, even if we don’t understand. We don’t know what that person has been through.
How many people are associated with Friends' Health Connection?
Last year 16,000 people attended our events and approximately 15,000 people have been connected to Friends' Health Connection friends through the years. With the publishing of Unexpected Blessings, Friends’ Health Connection is also launching our new online community. It’s free and it’s intended for those with health challenges and caregivers who wish to connect with each other. It’s nice to be able to log on and tell someone I‘m having a bad day, and network with others who can understand and help. Our connections represent people in many different places: Africa, Israel, Asia, Japan, Europe, and they cover hundreds of chronic diseases, both common and rare.
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