Amour Fou

We've all got our little personality quirks - be it a tendency toward insecurity, hubris, or stubborness. Most of us learn, at some point in the course of our lifetimes, to manage our quirks. But, there are some people who never develop their better sides, who in fact are dysfunctional personalities. There are as many personality disorders as there are personality types, but they all have one thing in common - they don't play well with others.

They teach us about personality disorders in medical school, not so that we can cure them, but so that we can understand and avoid the inherent pitfalls of working with them. That lesson was lost on medical student Anthony Walker (A pseudonym. You'll soon understand why). He married a disordered personality. One he met on the psychiatry ward after a failed suicide attempt (hers, not his). And one of the worst of the personality disorders there is - the borderline.

What is a borderline personality? Not, as you might think, one that's only borderline dysfunctional, but one that sits somewhere between psychosis and neurosis. They aren't completely crazy, but they're damn near close. Borderline people are charming, and seductive. They'll make you feel as if you're the most important person in the world. And you are, as long as they're also the only person in your world. They'll say and do anything to remain the center of attention. Nothing else exists beyond their wants and their needs. They have been spoiled rotten. That's why they warn us about them in medical school. Don't get caught in their dance, they say.

They're the Sirens of ancient legend. They're Scarlet O'Hara in Gone With the Wind. They're Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. They're Livia Soprano and her daughter Janice. But they aren't nearly so amusing in real life. They're the kind of people whose "internal phobias are the only things that exist to them. The real world, real people are peripheral. These people have no love or compassion. Borderline personalities are very good at splitting behavior. Creating bitterness and conflict between others in their circle," to quote America's most popular psychiatrist. They suck the joy out of everyone whose lives they touch. So why would anyone, least of all a medical student, get involved with them? For love. For crazy love.

Article Author: Sydney Smith

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