When we talk about the future, my boyfriend and I have started saying things like "when we have kids..." or "when junior comes along..." I don't know when exactly this started, but I suppose that after almost six years of being together, thinking of the future in terms of vacations to take, or appliances to buy, or bankruptcy hearings to attend — it starts getting old, you know?
Both of us have our favorite names for our imaginary kids, of course, who doesn't? For any gay male couple, it's harmless, since it's unlikely that anything would come of it unless we take extraordinary measures to have a kid. I mean, when I am at The Gap, I would often 'accidentally' walk into the GapKids section, stage-project my voice, 'oh my! I didn't know it was the kids section!' before looking through all the cute outfits designed to stir your homoternal instincts. I would pick up a cute preppy outfit and think 'this is sooo cute! I have the perfect outfit that will go with this!' and imagine myself holding my little boy's hand playing in the park, playing football or putting together a killer hors d'œuvre tray.
Sometimes, these feelings are so strong that if The Gap had a pet store, I would've walked out with a puppy. I am not kidding. If I were a savvy businessman, I would put a pet store next to a designer kids clothing store because you know, all the gays with their unfulfilled homoternal instincts will walk in and get a new kitten or puppy without even knowing why.
Sometimes (and I know I've said this many times in this blog), I wish I were a lesbian, particularly Kim Stolz from America's Next Top Model. I am actually going through a phase right now where I am copying Kim's cool, casual androgynous style: vests, ties, white shirts, but I digress.
If I were a lesbian with homoternal urges, I would go to a bar when I'm ovulating, challenge a cute guy to a drinking game, coz you know I would need to get drunk to do the deed and he needs to get drunk so he won't remember my face, my address and so he won't notice my hairy legs or armpits when I take my shirt off — no way I'm shaving just to please a man — uh-uh. Rinse, repeat until pregnant.
Article comments
1 - Die Hard
About a boy is a wonderful novel. But as a generation X person I totally identify with Secret Diaries of Adrian Mole by Sue Townsend.
2 - no milk
i think that you should definitely check out the stephen chbosky novel 'perks of being a wallflower'. it's wonderful. this book 'slam' is pretty good too!