Book Review: Mr. Skin’s Skincyclopedia by Mr. Skin

Today is a day for my fellow pervs and I to rejoice. To call us perverts is a badge of honor, because we are men who prefer our actresses to have as little clothing on as possible, every time.

The genius who calls himself Mr. Skin launched his website back in 1999, and it’s success over the past decade has been phenomenal. Frankly, I don’t know how we ever lived without it. What he does is simple, yet brilliant. Basically what Mr. Skin and now this book, the second edition of his Skincyclopedia, does is list 2009 actresses who have appeared sans clothing on film.

The actresses listed in the book are the ones "Who I find to be the most important to the onward-and-upward development of naked arts and sciences,” says Mr. Skin. By sharing these great finds with the world, Mr. Skin shows he is a true humanitarian.

But there is much more to Mr. Skin’s Skincyclopedia than a simple listing of nude or semi-nude scenes to look for. Each actress gets her own brief biography, as well as her most “SKIN-fining moment.”

For example, let’s look at Sex In The City Super-Cougar Kim Cattrall’s entry. Mr. Skin spends a couple of paragraphs talking about her nude career, which has been stellar. Her SKIN-fining moment came way back in 1982, in the masterpiece Porky’s. This is followed with a listing of all 14 films she has shown boobs, buns, or bush in, plus a separate list for television.

Talk about handy! Now you can go to the video store armed with the information that really matters. In this second, fully revised edition of Mr. Skin’s Skincyclopedia, our hero has added over 350 new actresses to the original version. The writing style is pretty funny, and some of the actresses included boggle the mind.

Did you know that Maureen (Marcia Brady) McCormick dropped top in a 1981 film titled Texas Lightning? Neither did I, but I’m renting it tonight! On a completely different note, is there anyone who ever wanted to see Miss Olive Oyl herself, Shelly Duvall naked? Now you know where to look, just find the 1974 blockbuster Thieves Like Us, forward to the 1:19 mark, and you can see what Popeye was never allowed to see.

Bonus Skincyclopedia treats include a whole section titled “69 Stars Who Need To Get Nude Soon,” featuring such party-poopers as Kelly Clarkson, Brooke Hogan, and Raquel Welch, who Mr. Skin admonishes: “It’s never two late, Rocky.”

The “Anatomy Awards” section is pretty funny too, featuring winners in categories such as: “Best Nude In Public Scene,” “Best Breasts,” and “Best Lesbian Scene.” The Awards go all the way back to Y2K itself, 2000.

Mr. Skin’s Skincyclopedia is required reading all of us proudly pervy film “buffs” in the world. It should be sold with a box of tissues though.