As a newlywed, I couldn’t wait to read I Didn’t Work this Hard Just to Get Married because I was going through a hard time. I had to adjust to the idea that everything I did and everything my husband did had an impact one on the other. I was 33 when I married and was use to my independence. Single, I was capable to do what I wanted, when I wanted, without having to consult anyone else. I chose to read this book to find out if there were other married women out there who felt the same. Instead, I discovered so much more.
In I Didn’t Work This Hard Just to Get Married, Nika C. Beamon interviews a potpourri of professional black women from all walks of life, who are making it in life without bowing to the status quo. To say this book is empowering is an understatement. So many women wait for that man in “shining armor” to complete them. Some women don’t even consider the power they possess within themselves prior to a man. However, many women in this book have examined and given much consideration to starting families on their own whether by adoption, surrogacy, or other means. Beamon not only takes the time to remind black women that they don’t have to be married to be successful in career and/or family life, but she lays the foundation of this book with astounding figures and statistics.
Even with the facts laid out in front of the reader, this is not a book of doom and dread. The author and the ladies interviewed for this impacting book, reveal stories that empower women to wait for the “right fit.” Many of them also add that, in waiting, women should set goals and keep realistic views. This will leave the reader with the understanding that to be at peace with your place in life (self-worth) is the most important thing.
I Didn’t Work This Hard Just to Get Married exposes the reality that women put a lot of pressure on themselves to meet that particular mold the world wants us to fill. In doing so there are voids that we might over look while trying to fulfill everyone else’s expectations. Most of the women in this book would be willing to marry if the right one came along. Still, these women realize they are at peace with whom and what they are in their own right without having to be defined by a man. I Didn’t Work This Hard Just to Get Married is well worth the purchase and an inspiring read.