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Book Review: Angels, Vampires & Douche Bags by Carla Collins

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Canadian comedian Carla Collins has done it again with her hysterically funny foray into self-help territory, Angels, Vampires & Douche Bags. Collins divides all the people in the world into three main groups: Angels in the form of mothers, aunts, and rescue dogs, who inspire, guide, and save us from ourselves; Vampires, those “bad boys and crazy bitches” who are very interesting and can teach us many things, but are also toxic and deadly; and “mean and lean” Douche Bags, who must be recognized and discouraged at all cost. “Never humor or cater to douche bags as this will only encourage them.”

Part memoir, part social commentary, part new-agey spirituality (“from the publisher’s of The Secret“) and part girlfriend-worthy advice book, Angels, Vampires & Douche Bags is laugh out loud funny (seriously, do not read this book in public unless you want to draw attention to yourself). Remember, this is the woman who after being asked to perform comedy at her cousin’s funeral got together with her husband and “formed ‘The Grin Reapers‘, a service that puts the fun back in funeral and the ‘you’ in eulogy”, and who has described herself as Don Rickles and Pamela Anderson’s love child.

Carla Collins is on a publicity kick at the moment. She and her Hollywood royalty husband Tyrone Powers, Jr. recently moved to Los Angeles, and are sharing their adjustment in a new eight-episode Canadian prime time reality show Carlawood. Primed to capture as much of the US comedy market as she has the Canadian, Collins is very honest with her readers about her struggles, her fake breasts, multiple fiancés, two marriages, and 72 imaginary friends including Pan and Panned, 78-year-old identical Quaker twins.

While the basic advice is just good sense (cultivate your angels with food, atwer, and meditation; control those vampires with prayer, light and detachment; “do not attempt to deal with a crazy douche bag”) it is Collins delivery that makes Angels, Vampires & Douchebags so special.

Carla Collins is warm, witty, and seriously funny! Everyone should read this book. You’ll be glad you did.

About Lynda Lippin