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Blu-ray Review: Vampires Suck

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Vampires Suck: Bite Me Edition comes from the same guys who brought us Date Movie, Superhero Movie, Meet the Spartans, and last but not least, Disaster Movie. With this information, I know what you are thinking, and while this movie might not change the opinions people have of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, it does show an improvement, however slight, in their understanding of how to correctly make a spoof.

The Movie

Becca Crane (Jenn Proske) arrives in the town of Sporks to live with her strangely over-protective dad (Diedrich Bader) that still thinks of her as his little girl. Something seems up with this quiet little town, but she just can’t put her finger on it. Becca is lonely and sad, and is resigned to continue that existence, until one day she sets her sights on the mysterious Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter), a gorgeous, although pale ,individual with a secret. They immediately fall in love, but complications arise, namely in the form of Jacob White (Chris Riggi) an old friend of Becca’s that holds a secret of his own.

The biggest problem that Friedberg and Seltzer have is that they seem to confuse recreating scenes from movies as spoofing, without providing any insight. Vampires Suck still falls into that trap, but has a bit more focus than any of their previous work, and some gimmicks actually work.They’ve also improved on the look of their film, which in the past always seemed to have a bargain basement feel. Here, they’ve matched the Twilight look nicely, and some camera shots had me wondering which movie I was watching.

The biggest change is that the cultural references have been toned down quite a bit. Yes, we still get a glimpse of the Jersey Shore cast, and even Alice in Wonderland, but the gags are not as obvious as before, and I don’t remember a single cast member having to actually point out what we are looking at (such as “Look, Alice is falling down the rabbit hole.”)

It also helps that Friedberg and Seltzer have assembled a trio of actors that capture the essence of who they are potraying, especially Proske, who nails every mannerism Kristen Stewart has with hilarious precision. Just watching Becca pushing her hair behind her ears with that awkward glance literally had me laughing out loud.

The Picture

Friedberg and Seltzer’s previous films have always had a low budget, slapped-together feel, which would definitely show up on a Blu-ray. This time around, the picture transfers well, mixing the reds, greens, and blues comfortably with shades of gray. Even the vast shots of the forest look elegant, and never appear washed-out on screen.

The Sound

The audio, recorded in DTS HD Master Audio, balances dialouge, music, and ambient noise well. The hush tones spoken by some of the actors come out just as clear as the loud bangs of the gags. Even the music of Becca’s Teen Angst mix sounded great, and not at all choppy or overdone.

The Extras

Extended Version – The theatrical release runs at a total of 82 minutes, while the extended version only adds up to a total of 83 (according to my player). I wasn’t exactly sure where this occured until I replayed the beginning, which extends the opening sequence.

Deleted Scenes – (12 minutes) The deleted scenes are okay, however I am glad they made the cutting room floor, since they seem to have more of the cultural references that would have held the actual movie back.

Gag Reel – (3 minutes) The gag reel contains your typical messed up lines, falls, and such, which are only slightly amusing.

The Digital Copy

The “Bite Me” edition comes with a digital copy, which can be tranferred to a Mac or PC. I was able to do this without any trouble, and easily played the copy on my laptop with Windows Media Player.


Vampires Suck may not be a great film by any means, but at least it is a step in the right direction.The Blu-ray itself does not contain anything special, but is decent enough to own if you want a juvenile laugh every now and then.


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