I seem to fall into the same patterns in relationships. If I'm not getting the physical, verbal, and emotional signals I need, I automatically assume something is wrong. It builds and builds until I force the issue.
My view tends to become black and white. When something occurs that is beyond my control or knowing, I want instant resolution. I worry constantly about things I simply cannot change, and tend to project these fears into my relationships.
What is going on here? I don't want to worry, to demand confirmation constantly (whether it is good or bad). Sometimes it feels beyond my control. I just want to shut off my mind and let my life follow.
Yow! You’re obsessing. And this tendency shows up very clearly in your chart with your Mercury (mind) square Pluto (obsession).
So here’s the bottom line: your tendency to obsess is hard-wired. Waiting for this to stop (or end or shut off) will be fruitless. You will obsess, but what you obsess over is within your control.
At the moment, you tend to focus on your relationships to the detriment of all involved. And why do that, when there is a whole world out there?
The square involves your 9th house (international… all things big and positive, education) and the 6th house (service). So how about you take your mind off all this crap and apply the energy to something positive and high-minded? Go study something really damned hard, for example. Or think late into the night about how you can serve in this world on a large scale. Read a book (Mercury) about the Black Death. Think about that all night!
The point is, the energy is there. What you do with it is up to you. Good luck.