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Bipolar Booty Call?

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The Question

I was seeing a 39-year-old male with Bipolar disorder. Until a year ago, he lived with his mother. The only reason he moved out was because he did not get along with his ailing stepfather. His mother still handles all of his finances.

In the beginning of our relationship everything seemed nice, but then it turned. He called me every day for a while, but would only see me once a week for sex. I thought his BP Disorder had something to do with his behavior and accepted it, taking it slow. He cancelled our plans on New Year's Eve because he partied too hard the night before and I did not see him on my birthday.

He told me I am beautiful and book smart and that scares him. After not hearing from him for three weeks, he came over at 3:45 a.m. to "talk." We did talk, but he also wanted sex, which he did not get! He also shocked me by showing me that he had shaved all the hair off of his genitals and thought that was something I would like. I found it to be strange (especially since I had not heard from him in so long). Now, he calls me once in a while. Many months ago, I told him that I was in love with him and how his behavior hurts.

Can you please help me? I am still in love with him, but as of Christmas Eve, stopped telling him so.

The Answer

Sorry to say, but sounds to me like you're the proverbial "Booty Call." Don't let him use his Bipolar disorder as an excuse to take advantage of you. I know nothing about this medical condition and do not know if it could cause this type of behavior. Some resources you may find helpful would be Psychology Info and Bipolar World.

Treating your girlfriend like a "booty call" is not on the list of normally displayed symptoms. It sounds like, for whatever reason, this man is not in an emotional state to be in any kind of serious relationship, whether the cause is Bipolar disorder or simply a severe case of immaturity.

If I were in your shoes, I would show myself the well-deserved respect this man is not showing you by either finding a better relationship or enjoying my own company for a while. You do not need another person (man or woman) to confirm your greatness! If you love yourself first, you will attract a man that loves and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

This may not be what you want to hear, but I hope it helps. 

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About Dan and Jennifer

  • SexySweetheart123

    my comment is:
    forget him he’s just using you for sex…I have Bipolar, and Bipolar is nothing like that…I know its hard for you to let go…But you will be much better off without him…

    I also hate it when people use their diseases as a crutch to get away with things…

    thanx…

  • jeremy0192

    researching bipolar news and i wound up here.

    imo, sites like yours are just one more example of how women co-opt the victim position at every turn. even when a man is sick, he’s still considered the jerk.

    i hate it how every issue, be it relationships, hardships or whatever – are always told through the female viewpoint. hate it with a passion that burns in my soul. ive considered suicide many times but then i think, who would fight for all the boys/men out there who are getting effed by this feminist system ?

    im a gen-x male w/bp and grew up seeeing how great artists like kurt cobain and layne staley rotted away with these diseases and nobody gave a sh1t .. now britney is going thru a girly crisis and all of sudden she has “bipolar” .. yeah ok.. just another way this culture shifts attention to women, feminizes these problems so men with them are considered weak and feminine – instead of being provided the help and support they need.

    yeah, i hate women, i hate our mothers who created this feminist hatred against boys and men that we are always considered the villain even when we are TRULY the victim (and not just playing it, like women always do).

    Equality would be great but it’s not possible because women are evil and want superiority, and will use sex/sexual manipulation to decide which men are considered winners and which are considered losers .. as is the case here.

  • Jeremy’s mom

    Jeremy, ya got problems, but blaming other people for that is not the way ta go. Quit bugging me, get a job, move out of the basement, you’re 34 years old son!

  • Emmie

    I found this randomly looking for bipolar info as well. I think it’s irresponsible of the authors to give judgemental advice concerning a disorder when they admit to not knowing what they’re talking about (though thanks for admitting it, at least). BP is certainly characterized by impulsivity and thinking something is a better decision than it is.

    The end conclusion is probably the same either way, but it might be better to go about ending it with more tact than “You’re immature.” Just let him know that his behavior isn’t appropriate, and ask him whether his disorder is really under control.

  • Lisa

    Jeremy0192 …I think I fell for you

  • Ryan

    You’re all a bunch of nutcases. Who the fuck is so desperate to have sex with a handicap? Just because they aren’t deformed and drooling doesn’t make it right. Do you really want to have kids and then pass this disease down to them? If so you should just kill youself and save the poor unconceived child his life of pain and suffering.